Do not lose your temper with those who sin. Do not have a passion for noticing every sin in your neighbor and judging it, as we usually do. Everyone will give an answer for himself before God. Especially, do not look with evil intention on the sins of those older than you, with whom you have no business. But correct your own sins, your own heart.
~St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your desires with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. The Lord performs righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them. The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all. Bless the Lord, you His angels, Mighty in strength, who perform His word, Obeying the voice of His word! Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, You who serve Him, doing His will. Bless the Lord, all you works of His, In all places of His dominion; Bless the Lord, O my soul!
~ David, A Man after G_d’s Own heart, in Psalm 103
Oh beloved, it is true.
Sin, the giving over to what our selfish self wants – at the expense of truth, wisdom, reality, honor, freedom, and wholeness – is a deadly thing. Sin is a rotting cancer that eats our souls from the inside out. It is a terrible thing. It smells of death, and our payment is indeed death for living in it.
So, in any entry like this, this fool of a writer hopes to the nth that a reader would not think that the Grace and Mercy of G_d is an invitation to keep playing with a fetid corpse. Grace is the power to walk away from stupidity, and into His Light. As one writer has said, “Grace is no more a license to sin, than electricity is a license to electrocute oneself.
But.
But G_d.
Can we see it. The Lies are there.
G_d knows all about sin. G_d knows all about evil. And, in fact, G_d created a universe that allows for evil. Oh, evil is not actually real. This is why it can exist in a universe made by a Holy, Holy, Holy Creator. Evil is a choice. Evil is a downgrading or twisting of what is actually Whole and Real and Good.
And it was with this knowledge, that our Creator chose to make us – with the capacity to undermine and miss the target of Himself. In fact, all of us have fallen short. We were in the genetic loins of Adam. We had the capacity to walk with G_d in the cool of the day, but we chose instead to walk away into the desert of our selfishness.
This fool of a writer is, in the eyes of the world, a pretty straight guy. I honestly desire to be righteous. I love my family. And I work to live in integrity. There are guys in my life that know the nature of my shortcomings, and this blog speaks to most of them.
However, I see in myself lately this great capacity for failure. I see the eternal importance of the smallest misstep in my walk with Him. I see how little accommodations to my feelings can grow into desires that bring destruction. And here is where the lies can creep in.
The liar. The father of lies, will hiss things in our head. “You are going to be damned.” “You are no better than you were years ago.” “You are not going to get that job if you do something wrong.” And on and on and on.
A dear friend of mine responded to this set of feelings i have been having: “This is not a challenge question, but an invitation to introspection. What is it, that threatens that total commitment to Him, what is it that accidentally gets in the way of that from time to time? I believe it is time for some reflection, the way the Israelites built monuments to what God had done for them. You may need to remind yourself that you are working not for victory but from victory.”
And this friend is right…. What gets in the way, is not my failure. Oh yes, failure is a terrible thing. No, what gets in the way of my (and you beloved reader’s) sense of intimacy with G_d, is a lie. A damnable lie.
The lie is that G_d is like us. The lie is that G_d will treat us the way that we treat people who fail us. The lie is that G_d doesn’t understand, and would banish us, or simply punish us for having wrong thoughts or anger, or fear, or failure.
However, if we would but read the passage above and hundreds like it…. We would see that G_d is so very different than us. He gets us. He understands us (better than we understand ourselves). AND… He Loves us so much.
Could we just stop and see it? Could we just stop and listen to it? Tonight is your (and this fool of a writer’s) night. We need to see G_d for Who He Truly Is: A Loving Father, Who cherishes us like a son or daughter. To hell with the lies of the liar.
Falsehood – and only falsehood – separates us from God … False thoughts, false words, false feelings, false desires – Behold the aggregate of lies that leads us to non-being, illusion, and rejection of God.
~St. Nicholas of Serbia, Thoughts on Good and Evil
