Jesus Christ set a window in the tiny dark dungeon of the ego in which we all languish, letting in a light, providing a vista, and offering a way of release from the servitude of the flesh and the fury of the will.
~Malcolm Muggeridge (1903-1990)
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Philippians 2
Oh beloved, it is true. We can, with the slightest of invitation, emerge from our shelter of peace in Christ, and become the beasts we thought we had left behind. And this writer has accepted the invitation so many times in his life, that i wonder if i will ever learn.
He has brought me to a place of joy in my life, for joy is Him and only becomes more intense the closer i dwell within His welcoming courts. And in knowing Him, i have come to the knowledge that joy is the diamond hard strength which yields the only true sense of happiness available to us – ever. And even so, i forget.
The stresses of an international move, the strains of a cross-cultural marriage, and then – finally – an attack on my very life a couple weeks ago tore another layer off the onion of me. And in feeling the injustice of the attack, and the alleged reason for it, there erupted within me a man that i truly thought was dead.
I was so angry, that I really was willing to take the man who had attacked me, and gut him. If he had come on my property again, I was willing to be exceedingly violent, and even had a taste for it. And, in the complicated circumstances of what had happened, there were others who seemed to be cheering the man on.
This made me even more angry. I felt as though my entire last few years had been a complete waste. All the good that I had done seemed to be going down the drain. And as the sense of people laughing and mocking the good I had done cheered the loss, my own mind began to swell into a whirlwind of angst and anger and even hate.
And it all started with the sense that it was OK for me to stand up for myself.
Oh, please don’t misunderstand… perhaps an expert will say it better here:
My problem was simple.
I had become just “me” again. The cult of one that we all must flee and reckon as dead if we are ever to have a real Life. And the “me” alone, is a terrible place, with a terrible agenda. To forget that we have been united with the One Who Is Life Himself, is a terrible misstep in our thinking. For, when we begin to think from the seat of self, we have taken on an agenda which cannot, will not, and absolutely shall not succeed.
And the solution is just as simple.
Him.
“Father, i am doing this wrong. i agree with You. Save me.”
“I AM Mighty to Save. So, I WILL continue to do the same. This exercise has been a great success son. You are being tuned for the Kingdom.”
“i failed miserably.”
“Yes child. What did you learn?”
“me, without You = nothing.”
“Very good. You passed the test. You are growing up nicely son. Many more challenges ahead, but they will be more endurable, the less you count on you – and the less of you there is in the mix. You are becoming powerful son.”
“But Father… how?”
“Did you notice the disgust and distaste you had for your old ways?”
“Yes… they were putrid and bitter in the back of my throat. i reviled them.”
“Very good son. Enough for now. Time to rest.”
“Papa, i am so tired.”
“Come away child, rest in My arms tonight. They are everlasting.”
