Bloody nose and burning eyes
Raised in laughter to the skies
I’ve been in trouble but I’m ok
Been through the wringer but I’m ok
Walls are falling and I’m ok
Under the mercy and I’m ok
~ Bruce Cockburn
When I came to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ, even though a door was opened for me in the Lord, my spirit was not at rest because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I took leave of them and went on to Macedonia…But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ… Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you, or from you? You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in 2 Corinthians 2
Oh beloved, it is true. On the backside of every battle into which we are sent, there is victory. And just as true as there is victory, there is the need for us to come away and rest. Often, this is because the main purpose of the battles we go into is not always only about the objective before us.
The battle is often also about training up the warrior.
This writer has recently been through a protracted battle for the emotional and spiritual freedom of a person he dearly Loves. And as the action waxed and waned over the past three years, each bit of contact with the caustic material in the other person’s soul ate away at a little bit of my own.
Regardless, this is what Love does.
Love is not stupid. It does not spend itself on foolish errands. But, Love will spend itself far into the darkness of someone else’s life, if that Love will bring light and life to the situation. And this is what happened to me.
By His Grace alone, i found within me, an ever deeper capacity to overcome fear and do what was necessary to bring grace (the power of Christ to do G_d’s will) to the situation. However, what i also found was that the bedrock of my own soul still has much work to be done on it. The wretched man (flesh) of Romans 7 is still available to work out its wretchedness if i give it permission to do so.
Still, as any battle is chaotic, it is impossible for a finite being to do anything with perfection. Regardless, we can willingly follow orders, and fulfill them to our fullest ability. And the more we yield to His strength in us, the better it can work out through us. And as He works through us, even if a tiny bit of Him gets through us, the work has the potential to be infinitely effective.
Said simply: we often fail our way to victory in Him.
Thankfully, it worked. And along with the inputs of other caring people, this dearly loved person saw some very bright light and came up to (and made) some very important – and very positive – steps out of the bondage they were in.
Actually, it is astounding to see the results of a victory wrought on the spiritual plane. They are so real; so much more solid than some sort of fade from one set of behaviors to another that can come from any flavor of psychological counseling.
But what does not happen so much in psychology as does in spiritual warfare, is the close, hot contact a true warrior will face on the spiritual plane. This battle has brought me up close and personal to actual demons. One screamed at me as i cast it away from this person one night, as it attempted to choke her. And others have had to be torn away layer by layer to help this person get free.
Beyond this, Love spends itself, and if it is real Love that means that one is spending oneself. Surely, this Love is replenished to full and overflowing by the One who is Love Himself. But sometimes, in our failure to do battle correctly, we close off the inflow a little too much, while we keep the outflow at maximum.
We find, that human beings (even Zoe, new creations in Christ) are not immune to damage. We can come away from these battles rubbed completely raw, and utterly worn out. We find that blood supplies are limited, and strength can wane until we can barely stand.
So, this is where this fool of a writer is right now. Tired. Hurt. Happy. Broken. Joyous. Bewildered. And Free. Time will tell if the victory i was a part of, is real. It does seem so. And through all of this though, i have found that He is more real than i had ever imagined. Prayer works. Love heals. Truth wins.
Looking forward to the rest He gives us.
That rest is real too. So, are you in a fight that is wearing you down? You will make it. Just make sure to stay in the Spirit. Don’t do any of the fighting on your own. And the damage that will still occur to you is just old parts of you, that are no longer needed, being broken off. The rest will come, and so will the healing you need.
