Receive every inward and outward trouble, every disappointment, pain, uneasiness, temptation, darkness, and desolation, with both thy hands, as a true opportunity and blessed occasion of dying to self, and entering into a fuller fellowship with thy self-denying, suffering Savior. Look at no inward or outward trouble in any other view; reject every other thought about it, and then every kind of trial and distress will become the blessed day of thy prosperity. That state Is best, which exerciseth the highest faith in and fullest resignation to God.
~William Law (1686-1761)
For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of My name.
~ G_d, speaking of paul, The Least of the Apostles in Acts 9
So then, brothers,we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with Him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
~ paul, speaking to us, in Romans 8
Oh beloved, it is true. Life can hurt. And there are so many impulses in us that would have us abandon our faith in the One who has always been faithful to us.
Circumstances stimulate our fight or flight responses.
Contemplating things not going our way seems too much to bear.
A friend dies who seemingly should not have gone so early.
A cousin is bound to a bed for 44 years.
Another friend is painfully sick with cancer.
A sister has died a long and painful death.
A daughter has not been close for years.
16,000 children died today because of lack of good food and medical care.
175,000 believers suffered martyrdom this year alone.
And, there is a suffering that only a person can go through alone.
It has nothing to do with circumstances.
It has nothing to do with persecution.
It has nothing to do with failure.
It has nothing to do with doubt.
It has nothing to do with pain.
It has nothing to do with any one thing.
It has everything to do with us… And our fear.
For those of us who have tasted and seen the very goodness of G_d know – simply know – that He is worthy of trust and the obedience implied by the same. Yet within us, we are still often willing to worry that G_d may not come through for us, even though His Word and His Spirit have revealed otherwise.
And letting go of this fear is, perhaps, the deepest suffering a human being can go through. This is because we are utterly comfortable with our fear, and we rather enjoy going about figuring ways to protect ourselves from some impending situation. Our self-righteousness screams that we need to listen to the alarms sounding in our own heads, and begin the business of building our own defenses.
And He speaks to us. “Child, let go.”
“But what will happen if I let go!!??”
“Leave that to Me,” He says.
“But!”
“Oh child. I AM able. I already know. Let go.”
“I don’t know how! I’m so scared. What if You drop me!!!”
“I AM He who has given nations and peoples in trade for you my beloved. That you even exist is because of infinite providence and manifold wisdom on My part. Your fear is spurious, even foolish. Put it down son.”
“I just don’t know what I will do if things don’t… wait, did you just call me son?”
He says simply, “Yes.”
We say, “Like really a son? Like You see me as a son?”
“No. I do not see you as a son. You are indeed absolutely, completely one of my children. You are in My family. I have moved time and space and eternity and poured out my Son’s very blood to make this possible. There is nothing that can separate you from My Love. I AM utterly willing, able, desirous and proceeding to work all things together for good for you.”
“Father?”
“Now you’re getting it.” He says with a smile.
“Why does it hurt?”
“You’re dying child but this death is a beautiful thing. All of what you were must go away, that the real you might live in Me. Flesh cannot inherit what is to come. It is not strong enough, nor real enough, nor clean enough to survive in a place so powerfully full of life and goodness. The goodness of where I AM taking you would simply burn you up right now… So, the pain you are experiencing is deep and necessary to the re-creating I AM doing within you. May I proceed?”
“Yes Daddy.”
“Even better answer son. Lay back now. Let Me work. We’ll be done soon. You are going to be amazing. I AM already where you will be one Day. And there, you are perfect. It will be wonderful when you arrive, so we can enjoy it together!”
And suddenly the suffering seems but a moment of joy. And from the joy comes the strength we need to hold and stand and go as He leads. For now, it is not something we are doing alone, hoping some god will help us through. Rather, it is our very good Dad, doing something we know we can trust Him to finish. And the more we watch Him work, the more amazing our Dad is, and the more sure in Him we become.
Tonight is the night beloved. Let Him have you. The pain is not the problem. It is part of the solution.
