At The End of A Lesson

God’s thoughts, his will, his love, his judgments are all man’s home. To think his thoughts, to choose his will, to love his loves, to judge his judgments, and thus to know that he is in us, is to be at home.
~George Macdonald (1824-1905)

This is how one should regard us, as slaves of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in 1 Corinthians 4

Oh beloved, it is true.  We each (each and every one of us) has lessons to learn.  

And this writer has, over the years, had the baton of judgement batted out of his hands by the only One with the right to wield such a stick.  i lived a life that really exhibited nothing but veiled self-righteousness in the past.  It was exceedingly easy for me to see the flaws in others.  And while i held onto some sort of “hate the sin, and love the sinner” sop for my conscience, it was really nothing other than an attitude that needed to be out of my life.

And out of my life He did drive it.  

He drove me to depths of pain that simply cannot be written with words.  

He took things away from me, that my comfort might only come from Him. 

He moved people into my life that would have been heretofore exceedingly difficult for me to associate with.

And He taught me to simply Love.

Now, how it is that a man so full of himself, could now be profoundly concerned about the well-being of others, is a mystery beyond profound.  That a man full of self-righteousness and angst, could now live simply rightly and at peace is a gift beyond any measure in this world.  This writer does, in fact by G_d’s Grace, love people so deeply that it often hurts.  He finds himself simply yearning for them to have the Freedom that has set him free.  He no longer judges or wants to change people.  He simply desires them to allow themselves to experience the change only G_d can wreak upon a man.

And He gives more Grace.

Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. 
~ Sarah Young

The last enemy in almost any battle is ourselves.  For it is the terrible “I” in us that wants to assert its place on the throne of our lives.  We may find the grace to not judge others, but it is a deeper grace wherein we find the freedom to not judge ourselves.  It is, relatively, easy to let go of our need to judge others.  And it is an altogether more difficult issue to let go of the right to evaluate ourselves against our own sense of how we behave.  

Now, no reader should take any of this as some sort of “conscience-free” play.  No, i am talking about the zone beyond the trip-wire of our conscience telling us we need to move back into the Light.  It is that place, where we take on the right to stay conscious of our shortcomings when Jesus has already said the shortcoming is finished.   It is the place where we allow for feelings of condemnation when none is there.

It is the place where we judge ourselves (good or bad) instead of allowing the Righteous Judge to do this in our lives.  And in judging ourselves worthy to judge our own selves, we simply declare that G_d is not who He says He is.  We become, not to put to fine a point on it, practical atheists.  We stick our finger in the air and tell Him He is not worthy.

Can we see it? Jesus said something very clearly in His last physically human breath.  He said, “It is finished.”  G_d said this beloved.  And He did not stutter.  Then, He proved His right to say what He said, by kicking death in the teeth – and walking back out of the grave alive forever.  And, it is this same Power which raised Him from the dead that is at work in us.

Right now.

So yeah, it is so easy for us to fall back into the seemingly reasonable pattern of judging ourselves and feeling bad about our failures.  But it is also easy for us to fall back into any destructive and impatient sin.  We have the freedom to do it, but the act is exceedingly foolish.

So yeah again, this writer may have come to the end of this lesson.  He realizes that there is not one person on this planet he can judge, not even himself.  And the air in his life is even cleaner than before.  You are free beloved.  Care to join this fool of writer for a little fresh air?

Heaven is above all yet; there sits a judge
That no king can corrupt.
~William Shakespeare (1564-1616)