Going Over The Edge

From a writer who simply told G_d: “Just do whatever you gotta do.”

Simply having good theology, without willingness to obey, is like putting a case of oil in the trunk of our car and calling it an oil change.
~Makala Barnabas Doulos

In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:  “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!”  And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost (undone); for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”  Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”  And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”
~ The Oracle Isaiah, in chapter 6

Oh beloved, it is true. Each of us think we know how to live our own lives.  But even in the thinking, we know something is wrong.  Regardless, we keep plowing ahead… We think, “maybe if I just try it a different (or faster or slower or bigger or smaller or or or) way.”

And, somehow, across eternity, and in our spirit, we hear His voice calling to us.

At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.  All things have been handed over to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him. Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
~ Jesus, King of the Universe, in Matthew 11

And still we hammer away at our problems, thinking (perhaps thinking is part of the problem!) that if we just find another way, things won’t be so bad – and we won’t have to lose the things we think are bringing us comfort.

There is a problem though.  Truth is truth.  

And truth does not change.  Truth is simply reality as defined by God and it reigns free forever in the Light of the council of the ages.  Nothing ever changes truth, as it has no viable challengers.  So, though a liar mount a great assault on the truth, it matters not how great the liar is.  Further, our refusal to accept anything true in no way makes that truth untrue.  All things dwell in truth’s light across the æons in the eternal court of ideas.

And then we think, “maybe I can find another way inside the Bible. 

I really want to do good things and I want get out of the problems I have, and help the people I have hurt.”  And the “I” statements keep flowing out of us like they actually make sense.  And we tear into the Bible trying figure out a way to reconcile our old life with the New Life He is calling us to Live in Him.  

But, we only find a clearer and more clean edge to the cut He wants to make in us.

Now great crowds accompanied Him, and He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
~ this same Jesus in Luke 14

And the end is near.  Though we don’t yet know it.  He is calling us to something we never thought possible (even though we will find out later that it already happened at the cross).  

“Time to die child.”

“WHAT?”

And He says, “The only way you can truly Live is to drop everything in your hands and heart and mind and soul and life and everything else, and look to Me.”

“But!”

“The terms are not negotiable my beloved child.  And, oh by the way, I have already modeled this kind of surrender to my Father.  Keep reading, you will find it.”

And we say, “There won’t be any of me left?  What will I do.”

He responds, “I will show you the path.  It is gorgeous and free and powerful and full of real Love.  Me in you, and you in Me.  It can happen right now, right here – forever.  Just let go child, I have everything under control.”

“But, I will die.”

“Yes.”

“What then?”

“Life.  True Life. New Life.  The Life I Designed for you.  I did not come to repair you, I came to make you New.”

“This is humiliating!”

“Yes.”

And we look down at our Bible or something and simply say something like (and totally mean), “God, just do whatever you gotta do. Kill me if You have to. Just do it.” There is no emotion in the prayer. Just total surrender to Him. 

And nothing is ever the same.

Beloved, this fool of a writer made this choice late in 2010.  He is experiencing everything G_d promises in His Word.  Words like exceedingly and abundantly beyond all we can hope or imagine barely contain the beauty of the work He will do in us and through us as we allow Him to do it.  And as i continue to learn and grow and walk with Him, i am utterly convinced that this abundant Life He gives us is the absolutely normal Christian Life, which absolutely anyone can have.

There is just that one thing… We gotta stop looking for a different way, and absolutely surrender to the truth that He is The Way, The Truth and The Life.

Today is the day friend.  Let Him have you.

Fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement; he is a rebel who must lay down his arms…. This process of surrender—this movement full speed astern—is what Christians call repentance. Now repentance is no fun at all. It is something much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means killing part of yourself, undergoing a kind of death.

~C. S. Lewis (1898-1963)