Make me a captive, Lord, and then I shall be free; Force me to render up my sword, and I shall conqueror be. I sink in life’s alarms when by myself I stand; Imprison me within thine arms, and strong shall be my hand.
George Matheson (1842-1906)
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
~ G_d, through paul, the Least of the Apostles, in Romans 8
Oh my beloved. There are days.
The backdraft of pain and suffering in this world, and the chaos that reigns in this cosmotic system have such a great ability to ensnare us. The tendrils of time and confusion fling themselves around our Achilles heels and try to drag us down.
Circumstance and fatigue and need and disorder and apathy and sin conspire to take our eyes off the One who can (and most surely does) keep our heads above these killer waves in life; though their are moments where we choke and cough on the spray.
This writer has been going through some of this over the past few months. He arrived in Jakarta, Indonesia a little over 150 days ago… and has been going approximately mach 7.647 since arriving. New wife, and son, a new language, new school, new 100+ teachers and 112 7th graders, a new curriculum, a new church family, a very different culture, some amazingly weird food, and seeing the second largest (but probably craziest) metropolis on the planet in the back of taxis and motorcycles. Many people are not happy with me. And further, the culture in which i work, has elements of delay and chaos that make a Hispanic siesta look like a Swiss watch factory. i am tired.
And it is in these moments where we get just a little too hungry or angry or lonely or tired or disoriented we can quickly begin to sense that things are not OK in our lives.
And this is really good news.
Can we see it? Can we see that Paul and anyone worth being called “little” by G_d, can only become the mightily usable vessels He wants to use by keeping them deeply cleaned. And sometimes that cleaning takes on the form of deep abrasion, or even fire to burn away the finest and most deeply staining particles in our lives.
When we undergo stress and strain it really is just the “taking away” and pruning Jesus talks about in John 15. He is lifting us up to even greater light and air, that we might bear an actual “much” fruit in Him.
This writer’s tendency is to look at a problem, and try to find the solution. And this is not always wrong, for He has gifted me with the ability to help make many things better. However, this tendency can become a significant problem when the problem is not the circumstance – but rather how i am reacting to it. For often, a circumstance is being allowed, or even provoked, that G_d might get glory – and His children might grow in Him and holiness. And, thankfully, i am learning to listen to Him so as to know whether i should turn left or right, sit or stay.
And as i navigated (stumbled actually!) through the labyrinth over the past few weeks, it became exceedingly clear that the whole gauntlet had been Designed to get me to one place with about 20 students, and with those students to share the Good News of who Jesus is. And with those students, i did share. And eternity got different. And G_d got the glory.
Chaos? Let us not be too ready with that word beloved.
The tendency is strong to say, “O God won’t be so stern as to expect me to give up that!” but he will; “He won’t expect me to walk in the light so that I have nothing to hide,” but he will; “He won’t expect me to draw on his grace for everything,” but he will.
~Oswald Chambers (1874-1917)
