The Freedom in Continued Shattered Dreams

The goal is that God be glorified in us, not that He be useful to us.
~ Larry Crabb

And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to Him, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left everything and followed You.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for My sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”
~ Jesus, King of the Universe, in Mark 10

Oh beloved, it is true.

The pain of life can rock our world. It can threaten to tear the door off the hinges of our lives like a typhoon rolling through this writer’s second hometown in the Philippines.

The pain in our bodies and mind and soul and heart. Oh G_d.

This writer is in such a place right now. About 6 years ago, broken relationship, failures in my own past, and ministry calling created a situation that kept me from seeing my first-born daughter down the aisle into her first, and hopefully last marriage. And even though i had some months to prepare for the moment of not being there, i was – in that moment – so sorrowful as to be almost unable to think.

And now, this week. My youngest daughter is getting married. She does not want me to be there. I am a decade into making amends for the pain and chaos I caused. But, the healing may take longer than this life.

The pain of situations like this radiates up out of the soul and into the brain and body. Everything is tight. My voice. My neck. The line of my patience. And this fool of a writer is usually a pretty free-and-easy kind of guy who likes to dance in grocery stores and sing silly songs with kids.

Everything in the old man of this new man screams for relief. The desire for comfort against the yawning emptiness of a shattered dream like this, feels pretty overwhelming. There is no place to go, though, that will do any good.

As is quite often the case though, the dilemma is the gateway to the Solution.

Him.

And no, this fool of a writer is not talking about some platitudinal god of our making, in whom we bravely place our trust.

And yes, the same fool is speaking of the One who is Love. The One who so Loves, that He rightly Loves Himself enough to want to press out through the boundaries of infinity and eternity into the spirits of those willing to yield.

Can we see it?

We know that our lives should bring G_d glory. And sometimes the best thing we can do is simply trust that He is there – and that He is willing and able to help us through our problems.

And here is why: As John Piper (and the entire Bible) says: “G_d exists to glorify Himself.” And one of the best ways He seems to do that is to perform the miracle of transforming a wretch of a hard-hearted man, into a man who loves with the Love poured and pressed into Him. And this Love and right-desire for glory in G_d drives Him into our lives that we might be healed. He yearns not for wholeness in our circumstances. He yearns for wholeness in us. For He knows that the “things” we want will not fix us. Only He is the Cure.

So, in Him making us more whole through the trauma and suffering of our circumstances and human relationships, we then are able to refract the Light and Love He pours into us, out onto others, and back towards Him. And this too, brings Him glory.

This desire for glory in Him is jealous, but not selfish. For both the very end and the very center of who He is, is Love. This Love is the profound concern for the well-being of others without regard to whether the person being Loved – loves back. No, this desire for glory is that His Love might consume all of creation and that creation might enjoy its highest potential fulfillment in Him alone. For in Him alone is there fullness of Joy and strength to live the path He has set before us.

Said simply, hurting reminds us that He is there, and that there is no solution but Him. However, this sole source is not a logistical problem. No, rather in finding Him alone to be the One who heals us, we find an inexhaustible place of freedom and Love and hope and Life in Him.

Hurting friend? Let G_d glorify Himself in you tonight.

You fathom the depth of My own heart only to the extent that your heart is broken and your inmost consciousness torn asunder by the pain of grief.
~Frances J. Roberts