Living Through The Pain: Walking in The Spirit

Begin at once; before you venture away from this quiet moment, ask your King to take you wholly into His service, and place all the hours of this day quite simply at His disposal, and ask Him to make and keep you ready to do just exactly what He appoints. Never mind about tomorrow; one day at a time is enough. Try it today, and see if it is not a day of strange, almost curious peace, so sweet that you will be only too thankful when tomorrow comes to ask Him to take it also.
–Frances Ridley Havergal (1836-1879)

And Jesus cried out and said, “Whoever believes in Me, believes not in Me but in Him who sent Me. And whoever sees Me sees Him who sent Me. I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in Me may not remain in darkness. If anyone hears My words and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. The one who rejects Me and does not receive My words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day. For I have not spoken on My own authority, but the Father who sent Me has Himself given Me a commandment—what to say and what to speak. And I know that His commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told Me.”
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in John 12

Oh beloved, It is true.

Life is hard.

Correction: Life is impossibly difficult.

And this, my “formerly-lost-brothers” from the Colony, is one of the reasons we turned to the chemicals, or images, or behaviors that locked us into a death-spiral of life-dominating sin.

We had been beaten into a corner by the world. And, for some of us… The fists of our fathers bent us over. Or maybe, the screams of our moms drove our hands over our ears. Sometimes it was, the bullies at school made us clench our eyes shut. And, the toxic self-talk implanted by demons choked off our ability to think. We were, in a word: miserable. And then, loss and failure and injury and bankruptcy and everything-else-that-happens-in-this-dump-of-a-world, piled on us – covering us in the detritus of the fall.

Not only were we miserable, we were disconnected. And, separated from any sort of crowd, or flock, or team, or functioning family, our own evil rose up within us, and started to actually believe the fiery darts those demons were rapid-firing into our souls.

So, alone and desperate, we turned to whatever it was that we thought might help fix the problem. Oh yeah, it felt like it worked – for about 5 hours, then 5 minutes, then 5 seconds, and then… nothing. 

Utterly. Totally. Completely. Impossible.

But…

The passage above speaks to it. We were not rejected by G_d. We were the ones rejecting G_d. We KNEW He was there. And, really, there are very, very, very few atheists. Oh yes, many of us ‘played’ atheist, but we were truer believers than those who believed in some ‘big guy upstairs.’  And, in rejecting the one Voice that was calling us away from isolation and darkness, we fell into a judgement of our own making.

Can we see it?

Beloved, this same Jesus, who speaks of terrible judgement in John 12, is also speaking about its opposite. And the opposite is so simple that we can miss it, if we run too fast. We may think it is just about belief – some intellectual ascent to the existence of G_d and the Lordship of Jesus. It is, for sure. But, the power to actuate that mental impulse into a real, and living thing is embedded in most of the things we know Jesus said.

[Jesus said] “For I have not spoken on My own authority, but the Father who sent Me has Himself given Me a commandment—what to say and what to speak. And I know that His commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told Me.”

Jesus heard lots of the same taunting and temptation from demons.

Jesus’ own family and neighbors thought he was crazy or delusional.

Jesus was slandered, and pushed around. He often had to escape mobs who intended to kill Him.

Jesus was well-acquainted with grief. He was despised and rejected.

Jesus was beaten so badly that he could no longer see with his eyes, or hear with his ears. And the cross laid across His back, bent Him over as He walked to a skull-shaped hill where Jesus’  Father’s nearly-infinite wrath was poured out on Him. The entire moment was so horrible that light fled from the skies, and the earth barely held together.

Said more simply: Jesus was miserable and felt alone. But, He made it through.

How?

Read the passage again. Jesus refused to turn inward and allow himself to be torn away from His eternal, infinite, and vital connection to His Father. The Holy Spirit between them, bound them together by what the ancient writers described: “Vinculum amoris est idem velle. (Latin: The bond of Love is to have the same will).” And so, instead of turning inward, He turned and looked at His Father, through The Holy Spirit. He listened so intently – and mis-trusted His own human flesh so greatly – that Jesus only spoke the things the Father said, and only did what His Father wanted Him to do.

It really is that simple: Look upon The Lord Christ Jesus. Keep looking, and then wait in a trusting posture of listening for His Voice. And when His Spirit speaks to you through His Word, and to your own spirit: Obey.

So, has life beaten you down? The world absolutely does this. However, the solution is not of this world. The Solution is The Son of Man, Who showed us not only the way home to heaven, but also the path for our journey through this fallen world.

Tonight is your night. Look away from self. Stop listening to the demon buffeting you. Look at Jesus, and obey His Voice when He speaks.

To put it simply: the Holy Spirit bothers us. Because He moves us, He makes us walk, He pushes the Church to go forward. And we are like Peter at the Transfiguration: ‘Ah, how wonderful it is to be here like this, all together!’ … But don’t bother us. We want the Holy Spirit to doze off … we want to domesticate the Holy Spirit. And that’s no good. because He is God, He is that wind which comes and goes and you don’t know where. He is the power of God, He is the one who gives us consolation and strength to move forward. But: to move forward! And this bothers us.
It’s so much nicer to be comfortable.
~ Jorge Mario Bergoglio