Soul Tired

It is compassion that removes the heavy bar, opens the door to freedom, makes the narrow heart as wide as the world. Compassion takes away from the heart the inert weight, the paralyzing heaviness; it gives wings to those who cling to the lowlands of self.
~Nyanaponika Thera

At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him. Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” … At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. But when the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, “Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath.” He said to them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and ate the bread of the Presence, which it was not lawful for him to eat nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests? Or have you not read in the Law how on the Sabbath the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath and are guiltless? I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. And if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.”
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in Matthew 11

Oh beloved, it is true.

Some are called to be warriors in the Great Commission. We do willingly spend and are spent on the missions He has for us. And the risk is real for the fool who would cast his life into the field for the adventure. So many things can literally kill our chances of success.
Miscalculation
Rejection
Persecution
Societal breakdown
Bad choices
War
Fear
Doubt
Circumstances
Drought
Political upheaval
Disease
Age
and the worst of them all: Caring.
Oh, don’t misunderstand. The heart of the warrior is broken by the brokenness around him. And the broken heart is the only kind of heart strong enough to keep up the attack against the darkness. The problem is deeper. We are soul tired.
This fool of a writer is a teacher in a very tough neighborhood, on the tougher side of a very large city in the US. An amoral attitude pervades among most of the students. Very little even motivates the students to begin to listen in the classroom. It makes the soul of a teacher ache, as i watch these kids setting themselves up for failure – and even an early death in a neighborhood like this.
The issue is that we enter into a situation and instead of interceding for those in need, and becoming a conduit of the sure grace that comes in return – we think that we might be able to carry the burden of others for a moment.  Said more simply, we are more like swords. We are not the Hand that wields us.
As soon as a sword (or any other instrument of battle) sets about trying to act on its own accord, it immediately finds that it has no innate strength, and clatters to the ground. And in finding itself on the ground it has used up any potential for good or forward motion. Further, it has no means of picking itself up and putting itself back into the battle.
We lie there. Crushed by our caring. We need help and we need it badly. We are spent, and our only potential outcome now is to be crushed and splintered by the battle raging around us. We have become the detritus of the spiritual war by inserting our own intent over and above the Leading of our Captain.

What to do?

Just wait. Destruction is sure. Ours.
Can we see it? This is very good news for the tired and beaten down. Even in our failure, our Captain has a plan. He wants to replace our caring with His way of doing things. He does not need or want us to fix anything. He wants us to simply be with those in need.
Why? Because being with those in need; entering into their pain, allows us to be something other than a rescuer or fixer of problems. No, we literally become Jesus to those in need. We become the warm hands touching the dying, and we become Hope where there is none.
So, are you feeling exhausted by your calling and placements in the battle? There is a reason. You (and often this fool of a writer) are shouldering the wrong load and definitely the wrong responsibilities. The soul of a man was never designed to handle the stresses a warrior must face. Only the very Spirit of G_d, working through the spirit of the man can do the infinite work in which we are engaged.
Tonight is your night (and mine). Time to stop caring and to start living in compassion. Compassion with both the Heart of our King and the hearts of those in need. There is no other way.
Often people request prayers for deliverance, inner healing, or physical healing. But more frequently they simply want a man or woman to whom they can turn–not because of what this person is able to do but because of what he or she is: a person who makes them feel wanted, a friend to love them, one who generates an atmosphere of warmth and trust in which they are able to love in return.
~Brennan Manning

 

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