“One evening while at prayer, wrapped in those threads, I saw my entire life flash before me. This was not like my pretty dream; it was actually rather ugly. I saw my life as vitiated by pride, by the inordinate desire to be liked, loved, approved, applauded, and accepted . . . My motives were peeled away to reveal complete self-centred yuck. . . . Brother Dominique Voillaume saw my exit from the chapel and asked me what happened. So I told him, told him everything, about my disgust with my own motives and my thoughts of walking away from it all. In that moment he said a powerful thing, a life-changing thing: “You are on the threshold of receiving the greatest grace of your life. You are discovering what it means to be poor in spirit. Brother Brennan, it’s okay not to be okay.”
~Brennan Manning
For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, are drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, Who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing… We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. … Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it. … Brothers, pray for us. … Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in 1 Thessalonians 5
Oh beloved, it is true.
Life has a way of stepping straight in and kicking us in the face. We go on a path where we are honestly attempting to follow His Voice, and get to the center of His will. However, our childish (rather than childlike) expectations are that this is going to make things “go well” with us in this life.
And nothing could be farther from the truth.
No, He is going to use every single little twist and turn in our lives to help us become more and more like Jesus. The deeper truth being that we are not (yet) very much like Him at all. Our flesh screams – and we listen. Our minds rebel – rather than reveling in revelation.
Oh, its not that the hard times are not good times. Quite the opposite. However, as any artist knows, you can’t push your material too hard. You can’t use your tools when they are worn down too much. Everything needs rest.
And our Artist knows when it is time to give His work some rest.
Can we see it?
Often, in our being baptized in the work He is doing in us, with us, through us, for us, and around us – we come up on things that are just so difficult that they plunge us into periods of darkness. We are, actually, nearly killed by much of the stuff that He enables us to pass through.
We come out the other side of some things just gasping for breath, we have seen the edge of bitterness. We have felt the siren song of the flesh. We have smelled the sulfurous breath of the ones who would leverage these same trials to pull us off the path He has for us. It is terribly painful.
But then, we do come out the other side, and we realize that the only thing that got us through in the first place was the diamond-hard strength He has already built into us through the Joy of our salvation. His Joy is our strength. And while, it tenses under pressure, it does not break.
So, when we burst out of a particularly dark pool, the tension under which we have been living springs out in a giant Ahhhh! And, the Ahhh, quickly begins to re-form into loud shouts of praise and a return to the songs that really only seem best sung in the light (though there are definitely tunes that take us through the dark).
So again, are you going through a dark period on the path? It does happen, and it will probably happen again. However, realize that our Saviour-Artist knows exactly what He is doing. Allow the diamond of your joy to tense under the strain, but be ready for it to spring forth and rejoin the crowd which is rejoicing greatly in our King!
Tonight is your night to know something. You are going to be OK.
Christians, always rejoice, for evil, death, sin, the devil and hell have been conquered by Christ. But when all of this is conquered, is there anyone in the world who can bring our joy to naught? You are the lord of this eternal rejoicing as long as you do not give in to sin. Joy burns in our hearts from His truth, love, resurrection, and from the Church and His saints. Joy burns in our hearts all because of sufferings for Him, mockings for Him, and death for Him, insofar as these sufferings write our names in heaven. There is no true joy on earth without the victory over death, but the victory over death does not exist without the Resurrection, and the Resurrection does not exist without Christ. The risen God-Man Christ, the founder of the Church, constantly pours out this joy into the hearts of His followers through the Holy Mysteries and good deeds. Our faith is fulfilled in this eternal joy, insofar as the joy of faith in Christ is the only true joy for human nature.
~St. Justin Popovich
