In explaining the growth of his faith, psychiatrist Gerald May writes, “I know that God is loving and that God’s loving is trustworthy. I know this directly, through the experience of my life. There have been plenty of times of doubt, especially when I used to believe that trusting God’s goodness meant I would not be hurt. But having been hurt quite a bit, I know God’s goodness goes deeper than all pleasure and pain it embraces them both.”
~Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God
And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your Name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in Matthew 6
Oh beloved, it is true.
It is a conundrum in the Gospel of Grace. We know that forgiveness of all our sin is contingent upon the Non-Contingent One. The payment for our wretchedness has been wrought by the One in whom no fault has ever been found. Good died for bad. Life died for our deadness. Hope was abandoned for a time by His Father.
We know it. We are absolutely dead without Him.
And then, Jesus, The actual Author and Finisher of this whole thing, comes in and throws a complete curve ball right at the whole thing: We have one work to do, in order to receive the forgivingness of our sins: We must forgive others first.
Huh?
Yeah.
The ones who betray us at work.
The rude guy who steals produce from your garden.
The mean old lady who always tries to short-change you at the store.
The wife who stole everything in a day, with the help of a pastor.
The boss who lies right to your face, and shares rumors about you with others.
The father who molests your daughter right under your nose.
The woman who killed your son while driving in a drunken blur.
The list goes on…. A long way.
Can we see it?
YES, Jesus calls for us to forgive, that we might receive forgiveness. But this is not to be interpreted as some sort of legalism, or transactional kind of thing. All is Grace. Everything is about the primacy of His Goodness doing the saving.
But, have we ever come to realize that we need to allow Him to do the saving? This is the repentance; the radical change of mind, that must occur when we enter into our relationship with Him. It is not that He is waiting for us to forgive first that He might then begrudgingly give us our forgiveness.
No. Jesus is saying that it simply doesn’t work any other way. There is no way for us to catch ahold of His empowering and cleansing Grace, unless we let go of our grasp around the necks of the people who have hurt us.
Said more simply: we must let go of everything – including the real and terrible betrayals we have endured – for forgiveness to have its work in our lives. So, even when we are stabbed in the chest by a betrayer, our response to them can be truly one of concern for their wellbeing, and an affectionate desire that they receive the same forgiveness we have received from our King.
So, are you enduring a painful betrayal? It happens. It is happening to this fool of a writer in his post in China as I write. However, the path to my wholeness (and yours) is to consciously, actively, and assertively let go of my own rights to be right. G_d is keeping the books. My joyful job is simply to continue loving everyone involved.
Tonight is your night. Time to let go, and Let G_d.
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
~Mother Teresa
