And Grace calls out, ‘You are not just a disillusioned old man who may die soon, a middle-aged woman stuck in a job and desperately wanting to get out, a young person feeling the fire in the belly begin to grow cold. You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But you are not just that. You are accepted.’ Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.
~Brennan Manning
I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O LORD my God, I cried to You for help, and You have healed me. O LORD, You have brought up my soul from Sheol; You restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints, and give thanks to His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, and His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. As for me, I said in my prosperity, “I shall never be moved.” By Your favor, O LORD, You made my mountain stand strong; You hid your face; I was dismayed. To you, O LORD, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy: “What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it tell of Your faithfulness? Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me! O LORD, be my Helper!” You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!
~ David, a man after G_d’s own heart.
Oh beloved, it is true.
All is grace. And the further we walk along the path He has set before us, the more we realize that it is only by the power of Christ to do G_d’s will, that we accomplish anything.
And then, it gets better. He dares us to believe in Him. He dares us to go farther. He dares us to listen to His Voice and to take leaps far beyond our ability to even begin to understand.
This fool of a writer was flung over into Southeast Asia, and into the 2nd largest city on the planet. And, He did it with conversation. He told me i would meet my beloved bride, and He told me that i would be married to her. So, when i met the woman – with the very name He told me it would be – and i found out that she was in Jakarta, i did not even know where this was, but i bought tickets… i barely knew what she looked like. But, i knew the Jesus she knew, and had also listened to in our “blind” journey towards each other.
Foolish faith? Or, is that we can trust Him – even when we don’t understand?
Over the past six years, He has woven my Life in Him into a grand and powerful story of how very good He is. I have preached the gospel to Batak, and Betawi, and Javanese, and Chinese, and Korean, and Filipino, and American, and Kenyan, and Ghanan, and Kiwi, and Aussie, and More… people from dozens of countries while I have been here. I have taught Philosophy and Tech. I have written more words than i knew i had in me. I have been on trash mountains that were gateways to hell, and I have seen beauty that seems only possible in National Geographic.
And… i have hurt more deeply than i knew a soul could survive. For the joy of following His path, comes terrible journeys into the dark nights of other people’s souls – and, into my own. Part of being a man who is after the heart of G_d is to be a man who enters into the heart-pain and heart-sickness of others, that they might find light. It is terrible work. The nearly infinitely tough scars of the life-worn soul are only softened by continuous care and love – deep in the inner man of a man.
Can we see it?
G_d is not just an eternal Grandpa who hands out nice things to His favorite grandkids. Oh yes, He is the giver of all good things. But, in our thinking that we might just come to Him and begin to have a quiet and uneventful life, He responds to us with Grace. He begins to show us that He really does want to give us good things, but they are not just to comfort us, they are to train us up for the hard warfare for others others souls – and against the flesh of our old man.
He takes us further than we could ever imagine; not just to flashy places like Indonesia, The Philippines, and China. Then, He may turn the logic of missions right on its head – and send us back to the place where we came from. But now, we are going “home” with a mindset of pure joy in the reality that something amazing is about to happen.
He has told me that i am going back, and that a certain job is already mine. This is warrior-class stuff. Losing every opportunity in part of the world that i thought i belonged. And going right back to where i left. Simply because He said to do it. However, what i have learned in joyful obeisance, is that i (and you beloved reader) can simply expect that He is going to do something amazing in the morning.
Tonight is your night. Time to start expecting something beautiful in the morning!
The childhood shows the man As morning shows the day.
~John Milton (1608-1674)
