No soul can be really at rest until it has given up all dependence on everything else and has been forced to depend on the Lord alone. As long as our expectation is from other things, nothing but disappointment awaits us. Feelings may change, and will change with our changing circumstances; doctrines and dogmas may be upset; Christian work may come to naught; prayers may seem to lose their fervency; promises may seem to fail; everything that we have believed in or depended upon may seem to be swept away, and only God is left, just God, the bare God, if I may be allowed the expression; simply and only God.
~Hannah Whitall Smith
The LORD alone is my portion and my cup; You hold My lot. The lines have fallen for Me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the LORD who gives Me counsel; in the night also My heart instructs Me. I have set the LORD always before Me; because He is at My right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore My heart is glad, and My whole being rejoices; My flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon My soul to Sheol, or let Your Holy One see corruption. You make known to Me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
~ Jesus, in the prayer of the resurrection, from Psalm 16
Oh beloved, it is true.
Most of us have come to a place where we know that we absolutely need G_d. We have come to the end of ourselves, and we have come to realize that we are going to miss heaven unless Jesus saves us. We have come to faith in Him. And we know, that we know that we know: Jesus is The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
But, just today, this fool of a writer had a lesson to re-learn. The Holy Spirit is so kind though, to allow us to see the things that were obvious to us only a few weeks or months before, but have become blurred by the waves and circumstances that churn about in our lives.
See, some years ago, He called me to work in Asia. For nearly 6 years, my entire being has been thrown into battle after battle to save souls, and preach to the oceans of lost people in this part of the world. And, to a great extent, the battle has been effective. Thousands have heard the message, and some hundreds have sensed His fragrance in the message of the Great News we have been given the privilege to share.
However, about a month and a half ago, the place we thought might be our final posting informed us of some unsolvable problems with my wife’s visa, and changes in the staffing plan for the school where we work in Tianjin, China. It was devastating. It felt like getting punched in the stomach. … Jobless soon in China.
Immediately, my beloved spouse and I have dived into a job search around the globe. We have been seeking His guidance and a word on where we are supposed to go next. And, there is nothing wrong with a person seeking employment in the world. But, it was in the middle of this frenetic search, that He stopped me in my tracks.
I sensed Him say, “Am I enough for you, Mak?”
Can we see it?
Notice even how Jesus was praying in Psalm 16. He was not praying that The Father would help Him get out of the grave, and give Him His strength back. Not that any of those things would even be wrong… But, notice how He prays.
It is The Father Who is what Jesus wants. Jesus does not want anything but to be in the the Presence of His Father. Don’t miss this. Jesus had just laid waste to death, to time, to enemies that had sought to kill Him, and destroy Him. Jesus had just been through a terrible ordeal and would rightly be seeking the comfort of anything He could get His hands on.
But no. He only wanted One Thing. Jesus wanted His Dad; and to be with Him. This was enough.
And I guess, if we think about it, why would we want anything else? Do a test. What if you could get to heaven, and have everything you ever wanted. All the riches, and even all the friends you knew in this life…. But, you would not ever get to meet The Maker of the place. How would you feel?
Can you feel it? That tug? That emptiness?
Most of you can, and it is telling you something. It is the Triunity of G_d, the very basis of Love and relationship that we all long for. We have just been thinking that it is the other stuff we wanted. We thought we needed a job – but really we wanted the feeling of security.
He is our Security
He is our Hope
He is our Fullness
He is our Safety
He is our Belonging
He is what we have been wanting…
So, yeah, it is has been a week of reawakening to something… The question of “Am I enough for you, Mak?” is actually easily answered. Is anything enough for us, but Him? Or course not.
He is enough. More than enough. I want Him alone. Nothing else will do.
Tonight is your night too. Is He enough for you?
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fear’s path, and only I will remain.
~ From Frank Herbert’s, Dune and the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
