Authentic men aren’t afraid to show affection, release their feelings, hug their children, cry when they’re sad, admit it when they’re wrong, and ask for help when they need it.
~Charles R. Swindoll (1934- )
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong… Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.
~ from The Epic Poem of Job
Oh beloved, it is true.
And it does not take too many words to say it.
This fool of a writer is, in fact, one of the most joyful people you might ever meet. There is a readiness to laugh, that is not forced. And, there is a glint of the happiness of knowing one’s eternal position that glints in his eye. His jaw is often set in a smile. And he knows the tastes of forever that bring the deepest pleasure to the soul and spirit of a man.
And… Oh G_d…
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.
~ William Shakespeare
This same man has lost more than many are able to even experience in a lifetime. I have lost a promising career, a family, my freedom, my health, and a number of vital relationships across the globe. Further, i live in about level 5-6 chronic pain from a couple of repetitive stress injuries.
And, in addition to the other distresses, have come the eu-stresses of a wonderful new life in a completely different milieu. Four countries in the past 6 years have been my home. Two languages have been pushed into my aging brain. I entered into a cross-cultural marriage with a princess in need. And, we have been blessed with a special needs son. Further, I entered into a new career in international education.
Suffice it to say, i am tired. i mourn the incredible losses of friendship and family relationships. And, the mountain of change in the past five and a half years has seemingly – in the past few months – kind of avalanched back down on the one trying to climb the peaks.
Can we see it?
Mourning is not sadness. Mourning is something that is beyond words. It is this deep combination of coming to terms with the past, experiencing the loss, and just wishing someone could walk with you through the really dark parts.
But, the problem is that most people around us really can’t do this. They are either, too deep in their own mourning, or the darkness of our path scares them away. Or worse, they simply do not care.
What has come over me in the past few months is this deep desire. I know that I know that I know He is with me. He has been a Comfort beyond words in so many ways. But, the desire is this: I would have someone just sit with me for awhile.
Someone to whom I could just say what needed to be said and not look at their watch.
Someone on whose shoulder I could cry and feel their chest heave with mine.
Someone with whom I could just sit for long afternoon of just being.
Someone by whom I could get up off the ground of my sorrow and start walking again.
Would you sit with me for awhile beloved?
All is well, and will ever be well indeed. But, would you sit with me awhile and listen to an old man weep?
Tonight is your night. Find that person near you who needs it. Go. Go and listen.
In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
