Suffering is at the burning core of everything because love is. We need not feel alone in suffering because God is a suffering God who pulls close at our call. We can receive it if we want—there is always more God.
~ Ann Voskamp
And it shall be said, “Build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my people’s way.” For thus says the One Who is high and lifted up, Who inhabits eternity, Whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite. For I will not contend forever, nor will I always be angry; for the spirit would grow faint before Me, and the breath of life that I made. Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry, I struck him; I hid my face and was angry, but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and restore comfort to him and his mourners, creating the fruit of the lips. Peace, peace, to the far and to the near,” says the LORD, “and I will heal him.”
~ from Isaiah 57
Oh beloved, it is true.
We are beings who have pain coming at us from all sorts of directions. Memories, circumstances, our oceans of failure and sin, what people have done to us, and what people have done to each other – all combine to blast us nearly apart.
But worse, is the toxic roux of the lies that bang around in our head. We listen to the cacophonic symphony of voices telling us what we – in our flesh – are so willing to embrace.
You are not good enough.
You are crazy.
You will never be whole.
You will always hurt.
Everyone who believes in you will walk away.
You can’t share your pain with others, it is too great for them to bear.
You are unlovable.
You are a sinner.
You are lost.
You are a loser.
You are unlovable.
And so, to even begin to get to a solution, we have to stop listening to the lies. We have to stop coping with the lies by adding even more toxins to the mix with our fleshly solutions of self-comfort, and anger, and jealousy, and strife.
Can we see it?
Its in in the passage above, if we are willing to accept it. And, it is part of the hardest parts of the mystery of the Gospel. In coming to understand that we are listening to lies, we can just say no to something – we have to find a way to answer yes to SomeOne else.
The passage above, read through the lense of the toxic lies we listen too, and promote within, keep us from seeing a truth about G_d. It is written: “Build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my people’s way.” For thus says the One Who is high and lifted up, Who inhabits eternity, Whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.” This seems like a contradiction. How can G_d inhabit the high and lofty spaces of eternity, and with the one who is lowly and burdened by their pain and failure?
But the answer is so profound (the deepest answers always are), that we can miss it. Eternity, the very dwelling place of the G_d of creation IS a place of great humility. It IS the space where ultimate – even infinite – power is available.
Humility is not the space of toxic and repetitive lies and shame. No, humility is a place where truth is told to oneself and to others. So, G_d, being Himself, is being utterly and completely humble when He speaks about Who He Is, and what He is like. And truth never runs out. This is why The Eternal Man, Jesus of Nazareth, refers to Himself as: “The Truth.”
And, when truth meets Truth in our humility, something happens. We find that it is totally OK to hurt. It is totally OK to be broken by our ongoing inability to make life work. We find that this was the plan all along. But now, we have unending Truth and Strength and Love alongside us to get through it all.
So, are you hurting? First, stop listening to the lies that things will never get better. And secondly, begin to understand The Truth who replaces the toxic roux of our past with the healing balm of His Spirit. Oh yes, the pain may last a lifetime – but lifetimes are but a breath in comparison to the eternity you (and the fool of a writer) already inhabit in Him.
Tonight is your night beloved. Time to believe The Truth. He never fails. He never gives up. He never runs out.
In explaining the growth of his faith, psychiatrist Gerald May writes, “I know that God is loving and that God’s loving is trustworthy. I know this directly, through the experience of my life. There have been plenty of times of doubt, especially when I used to believe that trusting God’s goodness meant I would not be hurt. But having been hurt quite a bit, I know God’s goodness goes deeper than all pleasure and pain it embraces them both.”
~ Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God
