Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, a holy place, a divine center, a speaking voice, to which we may continuously return. Eternity is at our hearts, pressing upon our time-torn lives, warming us with intimations of an astounding destiny, calling us home unto itself…. It is a seed stirring to life if we do not choke it…. Here is the slumbering Christ, stirring to be awakened, to become the soul we clothe in earthly form and action.
~Thomas R. Kelly (1893-1941)
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” … Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His servants will worship Him. They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.
And he said to me, “These words are trustworthy and true. And the Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, has sent His angel to show His servants what must soon take place.”
~ from The Revelation to John, The Beloved Disciple, in Chapters 21 & 22
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
~ from Colossians 3
Oh beloved, it is true.
This fool of a writer is on a odyssey. i have been given a path that many lives could barely live out. This path has led me across every time zone, and allowed me to live in many of them as well. i have survived being chased by terrorists in the deserts of Israel, and also survived the terrors of my own sin and addiction.
Years of chasing projects, sharing truth, blowout failures, and a few astounding successes, though, could not prepare me for the end of my life at a place where i was trying to give it a new start… i had come through years of addiction and basically ended my former modes of existence.
But, upon realizing my utter inability to live my own life, G_d brought me to a place of peace. There is a small addiction recovery center in the pinewald of New Jersey, America’s Keswick Colony of Mercy, that offers freedom from addiction, but also promises to share the Truth – and often delivers more to the attendee than they bargain for.
In that place, i died. And the death was much more real than the simple stoppage of a heart and brain. But, as is always true in the Kingdom, the deeper the wound – the greater the healing. And, in my death, He has given me a new life beyond even the pretty dreamy one i had in the first place.
Can we see it?
More death leads to more life. The completeness of Jesus’ death proves this so.
As the years have passed since my death in this place, He has flung me out around the world – even further than before. i have had the opportunity to marry a princess, and teach kids from nearly every continent.
Through the work He has given me to do, many have been healed. It is a privilege beyond my wildest expectations. And still, even in the healing of both me, and so many others – there are those who doubt. Particularly, many people who have been the closest to me.
This week, i have had the opportunity to return the place of my death. The grounds of Keswick are pristine in beauty. Water and sun and trees and food and people and rest and The Very Spirit of G_d dance together to bring healing to the soul.
But, in this place, on this trip, there was more dying to do. Upon reaching the grounds of Keswick, i was assaulted by an accusation both terrible and untrue. The accusation came from a person into whom i had been pouring days of prayer and love and service just before coming here. The assault came from this precious young lady’s own memories of assault in the past. But still, it was terrible.
Further, four others so very close to me, have chosen to reject having any sort of relationship. It is the kind of rejection that tears at the inner edges of one’s soul.
And these two hurts showed me the need for so much of “me” to die. My desires to be accepted and understood are too powerful for their own good.
It is good that i am here. For, He is in this place. Death is easier when walking with a Friend.
So, are you needing to let go of some things? It happens. Maybe it is best for you, too, to go back to a place (either physical or spiritual) where you know how to put them down. We are almost Home, but before going Home, there will be much death required.
Tonight is your night, beloved. Let it go.
In proportion as our inward life fails, we go more constantly and desperately to the post office. You may depend on it, that poor fellow who walks away with the greatest number of letters, proud of his extensive correspondence, has not heard from himself this long while.
~Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
