The gospel is absurd and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died, and rose again with but one purpose in mind: to make brand-new creation. Not to make people with better morals but to create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Spirit that burns within, who would live in ever greater fidelity to the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumes, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love. This, my friend, is what it really means to be a Christian.
~Brennan Manning, The Furious Longing of God
And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, “This day is holy to the LORD your God; do not mourn or weep.” For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” So the Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be quiet, for this day is holy; do not be grieved.” And all the people went their way to eat and drink and to send portions and to make great rejoicing, because they had understood the words that were declared to them.
~ from Nehemiah 8
Oh beloved, it is true.
This fool of a writer knows the reality of pain. I have both given, and received pain that threatens to tear me apart. Situations and circumstances come in that want to take me out of the quiet, yet infinitely large, box of the eternal now.
Loss
Theft
Hatred
Abandonment
Dislike
Betrayal
Disrespect
Abuse
Lies
All of it.
Honestly dear reader, if you are hurting, please know that I am not writing this entry from some sort of ivory tower. Nor am I writing it from some sort of self-serving, and whining space. No, it is just that you may be assured, that I am walking alongside you.
Said simply: I get it.
Often, we almost, just almost get life kind of repackaged. We learn the lessons. We can see the context and balance required to navigate the problems we face. We have learned that pain is a ‘normal’ thing in life. And, in finding the ability to feel and validate our pain, we can release it in healthy ways. But, just as we seem to be doing almost OK… people will come along and upset our little frame of mind.
There have been much deeper trials, but right now, this writer has a young son who is very willing to be upset, and to make life all about himself. Traveling with him can make things very difficult. We can be flowing through a very nice day, and something will attract his attention. And, as a normal young boy may want something, he will begin to communicate the desire. Nothing wrong so far, but when this little one does not get his own way, he will quickly get upset and begin to obsess over getting whatever he wants – and things go really sideways.
Feels like life is being sucked out of me.
Life is not being sucked out of us. We are allowing ourselves to fall back into trying to keep ourselves happy and in balance. And when things do not go as expected. We feel our little models coming apart. We don’t like it, and it makes us feel uncomfortable.
So, what to do?
Can we see it?
The joy was never ours to begin with. It is from a Source of Infinite Supply; it never runs out, as it is an attribute of a Triple-Infinite Being. The Joy of G_d is simply who He is. He is Whole and Real and Healthy and Holy and Free.
And when we became believers, and allowed ourselves to be converted both deeply and soundly, we were quite literally possessed by this Same Joy.
So, are you hurting? Are you feeling like the life and joy of living are being sucked out of you? It was never there in the first place. You never had it on your own. So, when you (and this fool of a writer) try to hold onto our little bits of happiness, we can instantly feel dry and bitter at the result.
However, what if we tapped into The Real and Abiding Joy that DOES exist within us? What if we, like the Israelites, learned that The Joy of The L_RD is our strength? What could happen? What if we simply allowed it to become an experience within us?
What if?
Joy me tonight, beloved. Let’s allow it to happen.
When the soul knows the love of God by the Holy Spirit, then he clearly feels that the Lord is our own Father, the closest, dearest Father, the best. And there is not greater happiness that to love God with all the mind and heart, and our neighbor as ourself. And when this love is in the soul, then all things bring joy to the soul.
~St. Silouan the Athonite, Writings
