The seed dies into a new life and so does man.
~George Macdonald (1824-1905)
“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. “But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. “Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry. “Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. “Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets. “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in Luke 6
Oh beloved, it is true.
Each of us; those of us who have learned to follow Him, have learned something important. We have learned that the “me” within me, is something to which we must die. So much of what we are trying to do in life, is actually a compensation (read: over-compensation) for the failures of our own flesh, and the ego that drives it.
However, the lesson goes even deeper. And this is painful.
But, the other side of this pain, brings life if we allow it to happen.
Each of us; those of us who have failed so much, have also lost much. Many of the relationships we cared about have been, basically, lost. Yes, we bear the responsibility. But ownership does not change the feelings of loss. Said more simply: just because we deserve a whupping, doesn’t mean it don’t hurt.
But the pain. What to do?
Can we see it?
Dying to self is more that just giving up our rights, or even our desires. Dying to self includes action. Just as a the seed of self must fall into the ground – and die – in order for it to bear fruit, so also we must bury the seeds represented in our relationships to others, for them to have any hope of survival.
This fool of a writer has the useless ability to overcompensate for his failures. Part of me wants to make sure that people know how much better i am now, as compared to the wreckage of my past. And this overcompensation can spill over towards the people in my past who i have failed.
This gets things nowhere.
People must be released.
The dead seed of our failed relationships must be planted into the soil of our new life. There is no way that we can make people be our friends. There is no way to make our children like us again. But, we can allow these potential relationships to bud again – through their death.
So, are you trying to fix the broken relationships of your past? Don’t. Oh, there is no need to give up. It is just that anything we have been trying to do to compensate, is almost surely not going to work. Let them go. Allow their seed to fall into the ground. The miracle of death can and does work in this situation as well.
Tonight is your night, beloved. Time to let some people go.
Death is only painful to him who resists it. The imagination exaggerates its terrors. The spirit argues endlessly to show the propriety of the life of self. Self-love fights against death, like a sick man in the last struggle. But we must die inwardly as well as outwardly… Our great care should be that the spirit of self dies first. For then our bodily death will be but a falling asleep.
~ Francois Fenelon
