And men go abroad to admire the heights of mountains, the mighty waves of the sea, the broad tides of rivers, the compass of the ocean, and the circuits of the stars, yet pass over the mystery of themselves without a thought.
~Augustine of Hippo, Confessions
Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the Arm of the Lord been revealed? For He grew up before Him like a young plant, and like a Root out of dry ground; He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was pierced for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
~ Isaiah, speaking past-tense, 700 years before it happened, in Isaiah 53
Oh beloved, it is true. Each of us is called to walk a path on this earth. And the more blessed the path, the more difficult the steps. This fool of a writer has been flung across the globe in the calling He has given me, and though it seems a bit exciting (it is), living all over the place really is not it is cracked up to be. Actually, it puts more cracks in one’s finish than shine.
The path of the world-wanderer though is not much different than any of us. We all must make a journey. And it is simply Him who will take us through anything or send us to any place that we might complete the course. The path is actually through something, and there is no way to make it on our own.
We are, to a person, broken. The wound is incurable. And the separation we have wrought between our Creator and ourselves is not just a distance, it is both infinite and eternal. And from this self-inflicted wound comes a grievous symptom.
Sorrow.
My life (and oh so many of your’s, dear reader) is awash in sorrow. Oh, it is no longer shame and hiding and terror. No, it is just a wound that never quite goes away. Yes, it is healed. But the scar is soft and tender within us. We touch a memory of how we have
Failed others
Been hurt
Rebelled against our Design
Lost hope
Made mistakes
Sinned against G_d
And on and on and on the list goes.
And so, it seems that he takes us on the outer journeys to help us go through the inner one. And maybe it is because i am a man who had the hardest of times finally letting go and letting G_d be G_d in my existence, that He has had to bring me so many places around the world. I had the head knowledge, but the inner man knew nearly none of what was going into my eyes and ears as i studied the Bible – and even entered into the ministry.
My life (and oh so many of your’s, dear reader) has led to sorrows beyond my ability to bear. But this I have learned, as He has stretched me across the globe in so many directions since the early 1980’s, is usually to wear me down enough that I see Him as the ONLY answer to all the problems in this life.
And so it was this afternoon. I was on a hike in Inner Mongolia with about 40 international students and educators. We were in the mountains, and i had worn the wrong shoes for the trek. It was OK logistically for me to wait about 1/3 of the way from the summit, and so I did. But, as I found a nice place to sit, under some very nice trees, the fatigue i felt was from much more than a day full of bike riding and hiking with high schoolers.
As I sat under a tree, a wave of sorrow – very large – welled up out of my soul. The scene where I sat looked very much like another location on this planet some 10,000 km away. And that place a long way away is a place where much of my former life died. And that place – and people in that place – is/are still a source of nearly overwhelming sorrow for me.
Unless you are one who has abandoned your life to Christ, moments like this are difficult to describe and understand. And even those of us who have “chosen to kiss the waves that drive us into The Rock of Ages,” (CH Spurgeon), can be disoriented. He meets us in the pain, but it is not always to make it go away. Thankfully though, we have learned that just about everything means something if we are willing to see it.
Can we see it? Often, there are deeper purposes to our sorrow. And Light can sometimes only go deeply into our spirit as it heaves and cries. The open throat of a hurting soul is a clear path for Him to move more deeply into us… Once His Light is in us, it never goes away. But the process is indeed painful. And it is healing. Love is like that.
So, are you worn out on your trek through this life? The path is tiring. But there is a purpose. And the wandering you are doing is just stretching you thin enough for Him to become the only answer. Tonight is your night beloved (and mine): Let Him carry the sorrow as you work through what He is showing you.
