Temptations come so that hidden passions may be revealed and so that it will be possible to fight them, and so that the soul may be rid of them. They are also a sign of God’s mercy. So give yourself with trust into God’s hands and ask his help, so that he will strengthen you in your struggle. God knows how much each one can bear and allows temptations according to the measure of our strength. Remember that after temptation comes spiritual joy, and that the Lord protects them that endure temptations and suffering for the sake of His love.
~St. Nektarius of Aegina, The Path to Happiness, 4
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Romans 8
Oh beloved, it is true.
We have been called to repentance. No believer, no theologian, no UN-believer would say anything different. We know that our coming to faith is a complete and total change of mind. It is the ceasing of believing in something. We know that to repent is to turn away from our old life, thinking, doing, and being. It is an about face in every sense of the word.
And too, we understand so much of that from which we are turning.
Sin
Pride
Lust
Doubt
Fear
Sickness
Anxiety
And all the goes along with our habitation in the lowlands of self.
But… Do we have any idea what we are turning towards?
Careful, beloved. Do you know? The answer you believe in the depths of your being is one of the most important things about you. For, if you believe that you are turning away from a position of strength, and turning towards something that is less, then you understand not what true repentance is.
This fool of a writer is not a Hebrew scholar. I do, though, have a beginning of understanding of language though; having studied Greek, German, English, Bahasa Indonesia, Mandarin and Latin. What the years of trying to understand words have done for me is to come to understand that words give birth to movement of mind and body and spirit. And the little Hebrew i do know has shown me that this language was probably chosen by G_d to best represent His flamboyant and over-the-top way of stuffing eternity into a few characters.
Here is one example, in the Scriptures, G_d says of Himself: אֲנִ֥י יְהוָ֖ה מְקַדִּשְׁכֶֽם (I am Jehovah-M’Kaddesh). Or, literally “I am The God Who proves Myself holy, Who sanctifies you, Who sets you apart, and Who transmits My holiness to you”
Read the passage from Romans 8 above, again. The writer of Romans was drenched in the knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures. He was, as noted in other places, a Hebrew of Hebrews. Paul, understood the importance of the words that described the Word. He was beginning to actually know G_d. He had seen the third heaven, and heard words which were not even lawful to utter.
Can we see what Paul saw?
Can you?
In repentance, we are not abandoning some space of real comfort or strength. In repentance, we are recognizing that none of where we are in this fallen cosmos is OK. Nowhere is good, except for the purpose of turning us away from its futility. But, even so, the horrid suffering that we are in (both our flesh, and the system in which we dwell) serve a purpose beyond pushing us away from them.
They push us into His hands
They change our minds
They make us see things deeper into forever
They drive us into our true identity
They are making us call out to Him
They are the breakaway molds He is using to make us just like Him.
Get this. G_d is making us just like Himself: Strong. Alive. Love. Real. Forever.
So, are you feeling like giving up your old life will only make things worse? This is understandable. But lies are always just downgrades and distortions of reality. Turn away from the thing that is pressing in on you. Look away from the foul and the fallen. It is but the wound from which you are being drawn. You (and this fool of a writer) cannot stay here. We are being called to whole new creation; to a whole new family that is not of this world.
Tonight is your night. Time to repent, even from the idea, that this earth is your home. Time to turn away from weakness and allow yourself to see the suffering of this world for what it is: The very action of work of the G_d who imparts His very Holiness to you.
