Henri Nouwen wrote of the spiritual work of gratitude: To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives—the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections—that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God. ~Brennan Manning
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
~paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Romans 12
Oh Beloved, it is true. The more often we try to Love the greater the degree of our failure. We can often see the path to freedom for someone, and they often cannot (as is often the case for us as well). And even as we hack at the shackles around their wrists and ankles, the person in bondage will scream at the discomfort of the rescue.
In us speaking Life and truth to another, the message will often be rejected for the misunderstanding the other has about our intentions. They will think we are just annoyed, or trying to get control of the other.
And the problem with all of this is the messiness of spiritual and relational warfare. Part of what we are doing is purely from Love for the other, and another part is the selfish rantings of a child trying to get his own way.
This writer holds to the idea that people are tripartite beings. We have a body, we have a soul (the mind, the seat of intellect and reason), and we have a spirit (that part of us which is most real; that part of us made new in Christ and already fully knowing Who Life is). This makes it easier to see that part of us which is broken wars against a part of us which is whole.
However, other theologians and philosophers have come to other conclusions that often make sense from the perspective of the preponderance of our life experience. For example, St. Thomas Aquinas held that man was simple (i.e., that the parts of a man were completely intermixed so as to be one). There are times where i sense that this writer had a point….
There are seasons where we just can’t get a break from who we are. It is as though we are broken, and this brokenness has the power to outyell and outscream anything in our existence. Everything (it seems) within us makes a play to assert dominance while playing upon the normal desires of happiness and food and sex and freedom in a human being.
Though Thomas has been sainted, he was a man such as we, and experienced the times where the vileness of who we are bursts forth and runs free in its rants and raves for anything, anything at all that might be new and pleasurable within us. He knew that the vileness was us, for pleasure in itself is truly from G_d. We are the distorters of pleasure when we take something from the universe and make it our own for our own amusement or sense of control.
So, whatever our makeup, this fool of a writer (and St. Thomas who saw that all his own work was as straw in the Light of G_d’s Presence towards the end of his life), knows that something is true. In this life, we are quite often quite a mess. The walk of a believer is the definition of a conundrum. We are called to be perfect. And this perfection is impossible.
So again, here we are, sometimes trying to help someone, to really love someone, or to truly bring freedom to someone who needs it. And the only way that person is going to get what they need is to receive what they need in just the right way. Yet, the perfect help this person needs is going to come from an imperfect being.
We wade in with what we know how to do. We bring our understanding of the path to healing. And quite often we make a mess of things. We do our best to complete a mission upon which we know we are supposed to embark – and we fall really short.
But this we must remember. We are never meant to win the fight. We are simply called to be soldiers. We are simply called to be instruments used in fulfilling His unfathomable purposes in the lives of the billions born into this world. Said more simply, we are part of a miracle.
We are failing our way to His victory.
Oh yes, there will be encouraging moments where we are the final hammer-blow, or hug, or hot meal, or quiet conversation that brings a miracle to another. But most often, we will be someone much further upstream in the process. We will be doing things that don’t seem to make sense, and surely don’t seem effective in other’s lives.
Can we see it? This is on purpose. All of Scripture has a definite flow to it. Anything that comes from in “me” (especially that part which is nonredeemable) is never going to get eternal work done. And only that which is done in me and through me by Him (even though this work will most certainly be imperfect) is the work which will have any chance of having lasting value.
So, for me to worry about my failures is, quite simply, idiotic. For none of what i could ever do on my own – no matter how pretty it looks – is of any use. Only that which is done by Christ in me – His Spirit operating within my spirit – and then me allowing this to proceed out through my mind and body will be of any effect in the eternal field of play.
So again, we must take failure on our part as a given. We must not just be content to mess things up, we must rejoice in the fact that it is impossible for us to get things done on our own. Did you read the passage beloved? LET Love be genuine. Tonight is your night. Time to believe in your failure.
