Falling from grace does not mean losing your salvation. It means losing your sanity…. But if you are in His grace, and you fall from grace… You land right in mercy! OH, that has got to mess with the devil somethin’ bad!
~ James Ryle
For Ragamuffins, God’s name is Mercy. We see our darkness as a prized possession because it drives us into the heart of God. Without mercy our darkness would plunge us into despair – for some, self-destruction. Time alone with God reveals the unfathomable depths of the poverty of the spirit. We are so poor that even our poverty is not our own: It belongs to the mysterium tremendum of a loving God.
~ Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out
Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who are elect exiles of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood:
May grace and peace be multiplied to you… Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
~ Peter, The rock, in 1 Peter 1
Oh beloved, it is true. There is a moment in many of our lives where we step over a line. The line is not marked, but we know it is there because when we cross it, we know.
He speaks, “Don’t child. You have been down that road. You know where it ends.”
But off we go. Somehow the flesh of who we are gets us to believe the same old lie that doing the same old thing will turn out differently.
It never does.
As we go out from the center of His will, we feel the pain of the failure and, more profoundly, we feel the power of His Presence ebb. Surely He is with us, but He is not going to enable the idiocy into which we have begun to wade.
What is it about us that we yearn for the strange fire of self and sin and hopelessness? What is it? The only thing this fool of a writer (and former frequenter of these shadowlands) can figure is that we are – apart from Him – the most wretchedly proud creatures. We are, in fact, so proud as to think we do not need the guidance of our Creator.
Something happens though out in the misery of our failures. We feel the rod of His discipline, but there is no rage or impatience. There is just the firm Voice of a Shepherd who knows the way. “Lie down child. you are dreadfully injured. you cannot get back on your own. Let Me carry you.”
Oh, we squirm and fight for hours or days or weeks or years… but somehow, even from the beginning of the fight, we know we are not going to be able to withstand the Sound of His Voice. For therein is the most Lavish Love and care and concern and confidence. It is like many waters crushing in and around us and flooding us with an overwhelming sense of His goodness.
“Why do You care Father?,” we ask.
“There is no why child. I AM who I AM. But quite frankly, I really like who I AM too. And actually, I AM delighted to see you in this position.”
“You want to see me hurting?!?!”
He answers, “Yes. But not because of the ways that you think I would. No, I AM delighted that you are one step closer to the perfection I AM working in you. you child, are going to be like My Son one Day. And I delight in both the prospect and reality that I AM bringing many sons to glory.”
He continues, “Let Me carry you. you are very injured right now. The wounds are mortal, they are incurable.”
“Will i die?”
“Yes child. Fear not. What is coming is far more alive than the little death you are enduring. There are many deaths, and all but one are beneficial. This death insures that you will not abide alone, but in Me – and through Me – you shall bear much fruit. Stay still child, almost done.”
And in that moment, we let go. And what happens cannot be described with words. There is a great exchange. Everything we were is somehow and instantly seen for the dust and nothingness that it was. We breathe out some wisp of nothingness, and inhale. But in that breath, we breathe the clearest Air we have ever breathed. We are suddenly alive for evermore. We are no longer immortal souls. We have become, in Him, eternal beings.
We are dead. And we are free. And we are more alive than we could ever even begin to hope to imagine, the moment before. We look up…
And all there is, is His Smile.
“Get up child. All done. How do feel?”
All that can escape from our lungs now are exclamations as we gasp and nearly scream at the clarity and strength we now have. “Oh praise You! Thou art worthy of all honor and glory and praise and riches and power!”
….
Beloved, have you fallen from grace? This may be one of the best moments of your life. Let Him find you. His mercy is ENORMOUS. Let Him finish off the old you. And let Him bring you back more alive than you could ever imagine. Tonight is your night. Time to die that you might truly Live.
O God, I have tasted thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want thee: I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me thy glory, I pray thee, that so I may know thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
~A. W. Tozer (1897-1963)
