It is the great mystery of human life that old grief passes gradually into quiet, tender joy. The mild serenity of age takes the place of the riotous blood of youth. I bless the rising sun each day, and, as before, my heart sings to meet it, but now I love even more its setting, its long slanting rays and the soft, tender, gentle memories that come with them, the dear images from the whole of my long, happy life—and over all the divine truth, softening, conciling, forgiving! My life is ending, I know that well, but every day that is left me I feel how my earthly life is in touch with a new infinite, unknown, but approaching life, the nearness of which sets my soul quivering with rapture, my mind glowing, and my heart weeping with joy.
~Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoyevski (1821-1881)
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in 2 Corinthians 5
Oh beloved, it is true. We have the ability to control our past. We really do. We can choose the paths that help us see the freedom we have been growing into. Or, we can be embittered by the loss and trauma and betrayals we have experienced.
No, it’s not a mindgame either. It is a choice to see our lives with an eternal focus, or through the lusting and impatient flesh we are working to shed.
Our memories are indeed wonderful and painful and real. They are the shadows and aftertaste of our experiences. And, they are powerful, in that they can keep us from actually experiencing the moment we are in – if we let them.
Pain
Laughter
Loss
Victory
Wishing
Relationship
Betrayal
Success
Failure
Hopes
All of them…
No, this is not just about remembering the happy things. Or, downplaying the horrible things that have happened in our lives. For, to do things like this, is to completely miss the power that our memories can bring to our lives right now – and in the future.
Yes, see for what they are. Memories are passageways and rooms in the house of our souls and spirits. And there is a great potential for the growth of both, if we allow ourselves the freedom to be able to walk in and out of these rooms freely. Instead of cutting the past of our lives short, we can live large.
Can we see it? Our memories are the clothing of our lives. We would be naked without them. And, they are the only things that we really will get to take with us into our lives in the future – even into eternity. The future eternity and life we have will be clothing that will fit us out for forever. But, the coverings of this life can be regal too, if we can allow ourselves to see that G_d truly has worked all things together for good for us in this life.
So, are you hurting over past memories? This is OK. This is even good. Don’t deny the pain. Don’t work to throw the memory out. Let it expand your past. Let it become a passageway through which your mind can pass freely. Let it be something of a memorial that shows His amazing work in your life.
Tonight is your night beloved. Time to remember.
