[Jesus] matters because of what he brought and what he still brings to ordinary human beings, living their ordinary lives and coping daily with their surroundings. He promises wholeness for their lives. In sharing our weaknesses he gives us strength and and imparts through his companionship a life that has the quality of eternity.
~ Dallas Willard
I must go on boasting. Though there is nothing to be gained by it, I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into paradise—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows—and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses—though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
~ paul, the Least of The Apostles, in 2 Corinthians 12
Oh beloved, it is true. Each of us has a battle within our lives that we simply cannot win. We want to believe. But we don’t know how. And any time we begin to get a sense of what He is all about, it seems that the very forces of darkness lash out against us – that we might shrink back.
And He proves Himself faithful again.
He shows us the step forward, and we are afraid to take it. Everything within us knows it is right. But we almost would rather be afraid than boldly rest in His arms. He tells us of things to come (just as His Word says) and still we doubt.
And He comes through again.
Each step of the way we are taunted by doubt and wondering about the circumstance He is taking us into. Oh, it is not that we don’t believe the end is going to be OK. It is just the path home that we get worried about.
And He makes the path straight again.
Fear not beloved. We are following in the footsteps of one of the giants of our faith. Paul, was a beyond-reluctant convert to our Lord Jesus Christ. Paul’s path (he thought) was to stamp out the brush fire of new believers in the first century. But along the way to douse some flames, he was confronted by the Consuming Fire Himself.
Paul did not even get to choose. G_d told him clearly, that he had just changed jobs. And to prove His point, His voice thundered Paul to the ground and the Light of His Presence temporarily blinded the man who thought that his own vision was so clear. Surely Paul had been seeking G_d with his whole heart, but that same heart was so misdirected that it required Divine intervention.
Paul then is driven into the deserts to learn and grow in the faith, and somewhere in the suffering of the crushing of his life (he probably lost everything, including his family) – and the even worse suffering in the smashing of an enormous ego – this man finds freedom. And the freedom he finds is the same one we all seek. However, while we seek it, we often recoil at the price: death to our own self.
However again, this apostle was given a gift to balance out the profound material, physical, mental, emotional, political, economic and spiritual suffering he was required to face for the furthering of the Gospel he once tried to stamp out. Paul got to see the end of The Story. He, through suffering and buffeting, was brought to a place where he could see that it was all going to be worth it.
I do imagine that Paul actually had an understanding of many of the great mysteries of the Gospel after his experience. And the knowledge of these things led to amazing resilience in the continuing years of his ministry. However, the same knowledge held a great potential for Paul to become conceited, so the buffeting in his life was not reduced. It was allowed to increase.
Can we see it though? All of what we would call “bad” is what made things for the apostle Paul so good. Suffering drove him into a deep knowledge and Love of his Saviour. And this knowledge is something he was able to pass on to us who are suffering today. We can see, in the life of Paul, that this buffeting of our emotions and ego and lives should not push us away from G_d. But rather, it should push us into a deeper and more intimate relationship with Him.
So, are you being jostled by life? Good. Watch Him work. And let the turbulence of your life shake off the old man – that the new man may rest in belief. Tonight is your night beloved. Time to believe, no matter what the circumstance.
Charles de Foucauld, the found of the Little Brothers of Jesus, wrote a single sentence that’s had a profound impact on my life. He said, “The one thing we owe absolutely to God is never to be afraid of anything.” Never to be afraid of anything, even death, which, after all, is but that final breakthrough into the open, waiting, outstretched arms of Abba.
~Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel:
