The Father’s Heart

For Ragamuffins, God’s name is Mercy. We see our darkness as a prized possession because it drives us into the heart of God. Without mercy our darkness would plunge us into despair – for some, self-destruction. Time alone with God reveals the unfathomable depths of the poverty of the spirit. We are so poor that even our poverty is not our own: It belongs to the mysterium tremendum of a loving God.
~Brennan Manning

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of His power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that He has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in Him. So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory… For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from Whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Ephesians 3

Oh beloved, it is true. There are days that threaten to tear the doors off the hinges of our understanding. One moment we are in pain, and feeling the oppression of the evil one… And the next, we are in direct communication with The Father of All Things.

This fool of a writer has come to the conclusion that the Bible is absolutely true. It is an authoritative representation of all things necessary for our faith. The canon is complete. And any doctrines that any person might try to add or take away – for any reason – would be held as a heretic by me, and any person who holds to the coherent completeness of His Word.

And… there is more.

This same closed canon tells us that G_d speaks directly to those who will listen and have ears to hear. If our lives are simple enough, alone enough, still enough and surrendered enough to His Word and His Will, the conversation can begin. No doubt, there is no requirement that this be a normal occurrence. And in the absence of His Voice, His written Word is sufficient.

In fact, the conversation only begins when we have a deeper exposure to the written Word. It is as though the 66 books are the launching pad for the conversation that will last forever. It is the bedrock and boundary and context of how He speaks to us. The conversations we have with Him are simply Him applying His Word to us in our individual lives, or Him instructing us on how to do the same with someone He has brought into our lives for ministry.

He spoke to me this morning.

My heart was breaking.

I have a son (three actually), but this one is deploying overseas into a very hostile area. And he is fixing to fight some very bad guys. He is an infantryman in the US Army. He is a solid young man. He was built for this mission. And he has his stuff quite nicely put together. He is a powerful presence with soulful eyes. They are ancient eyes; the clear eyes of a warrior. And while i would trust him with the tenderest of puppies and children, i would not want to be on the other side of his strength in battle.

He is a man. A real man. Full of Him, and full of the talents He gives to a warrior.

Anyway, i am 15,000 km away on post in an Asian megacity, doing what He would have me do. i am fighting the good fight on a different front. And i will not have the opportunity to see my oldest son leave for what he has been training to do for years. There is the slight chance too, that i will never see him whole again in this life, or at all.

The man dying is not really an issue for me. i have watched this man live, and if he needs to spend his life for what G_d has made him into, that is a path which makes sense. i know for sure that i will see him again. This son of mine gave his heart to the One who saved us both at a young age, and i can attest that his faith is real.

No, what was smashing my heart is the separation. i simply want to be there. i want to be with my son. i want to watch him standing with his brothers in arms. i want my heart to burst as i shake his hand and look up those extra six inches he towers over my frame. i want to look into his ancient eyes and connect with his soul… “Just for a moment… Oh G_d please!”

He answered.

It was our Father.

“I know what you feel like son. It’s OK to hurt.”

And somehow, in that moment, i knew it was OK for my heart to breaking. There was no need to deny the feeling. It was pure and it was real. But beyond this, came a revelation that threatened to cause me to come completely undone as i did up my shirt for work this morning.

He showed a portion of His heart. If He had showed me all of it, i would have been crushed to dust by the weight of the glory and goodness and Love and courage and joy and strength and power of it all. However, it was enough to put me off of my ability to think clearly for a few hours into the day.

i was dazed.
The Love
The Pain
The Desire
The Love
The Sureness
The Strength
The JOY
The Love
The Reality
The Depth
The Hope
(did i mention) The Love
The Simplicity
Everything.

Then, His Spirit also showed me something else from His Word. The joy comes in the morning. But now i understand something even more deeply: The Joy also comes in the mourning. The Joy comes in knowing that the worst missing, the worst separation has already occurred – and has been weathered completely by the Trinity. The are One again and forever.

And one day this fool of a writer and his warrior son will be together forever too. It just has to hurt right now. But the pain has taken on quite a different flavor as He shared His Great Heart with me about His understanding of exactly where i am at right now.

It was a very good day.

So yeah, it takes us back a bit to think that the very G_d of all creation would be communing with us. But, we make Him less than G_d if we think He would not. We downgrade Him into some controllable, predictable plastic god of our own making if we think we can decide whether or not He is going to enter into real dialog with His own children. No, He is our Father. And Dads like Him want to be with His children, just like dads like me want to be with mine.

So, are you feeling distant from His heart beloved? The feeling is not real. Just let Him come in and dine with you and have a wonderful conversation. He is knocking at the door of your heart right now to fill it with His. Tonight is your night beloved. Time to open the door.