Fascist architecture of my own design, too long been keeping my love confined, You tore me out of myself alive… Those fingers drawing out blood like sweat, while the magnificent facades crumble and burn. The billion facets of brilliant love. The billion facets of freedom turning in the light. Bloody nose and burning eyes, raised in laughter to the skies. I’ve been in trouble but I’m ok. Been through the wringer but I’m ok. Walls are falling and I’m ok. Under the mercy and I’m ok.
~Bruce Cockburn
Now among those who went up to worship at the feast were some Greeks. So these came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there will My servant be also. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in John 12
Oh beloved, it is true. There is a place where we come to the very end of ourselves. And this is the very best place to be. For it is here, in the place of reckoning ourselves dead to sin and self, that life really begins to happen.
This writer has recently been on a nearly one year long journey of prayer and faith. We are in the process of being pushed out of the country in which we are working. Politics and Providence and persisting in prayer had driven us to the conclusion that we were to stay in Asia, but that we were to go deeper into the darkness and find places to declare and manifest His marvelous light.
The pressure has built to the point where i am working in the place i am without having the proper visa. And in seeing this reality come into being, we (my beloved wife and i) chose to step out in faith and resign from our positions, effective at the end of this school year. We did this with no real sense of where we were going to go.
We just knew we needed to obey.
And even after obeying, the leads that we did have, did not come to fruition. We were facing the reality of being unemployed and moving back to our home in the Philippines with no visible means of income – and with family to support and college bills to help with for some of our kids.
That was only the beginning.
Then came the spiritual onslaught which is launched at a bondservant. We cannot be bought. We don’t really want anything except Him. Still, everything that has ever worked gets thrown at you. Temptations to every conceivable lust and desire are put at your fingertips. And in this part of the world, a deep failure is as simple to find as walking into a pharmacy and getting any drug you want, or simply saying yes to the fairly common come-ons from incredibly beautiful young women.
And even as we dive in under the wings of our Father, He allows us to be tested even further. The fatigue of working in the largest Muslim population on the planet, the horrible traffic, the floods, the sickness and all the other stresses drive one to the very end of our physical strength.
Then one hears it. “Give up. Just fold. It’s not worth it.” And this is the very voice of the evil one, the father of lies, stepping up the pressure. Yet, it is here that we can know that the liar is beginning to panic. He can see in the spiritual world much better than we can. And he knows that Light is about to burst forth in a new way that will – once again – proclaim his defeat.
Then it happens.
Every little bit of prayer, and wondering, and waiting, and doubt, and questioning, and seeming failure comes into focus. We see, even in the beginning of the dawn of the solution, that He has indeed been working all things together for our good.
The pressure has shown us how much we need Him.
But then comes the other Voice. The One we have been hearing all along, but have been afraid to believe. And He tells how proud He is that we trusted Him just a little bit more, and went a little deeper into the darkness – and still kept whistling like it was light. He tells us where we are going, and what we are going to do.
Then, just to top it off, He begins to reap fruit from the work we have been doing in the past. Dozens and hundreds of lives begin to show the change He has wrought through our efforts. And He does it, right at the right time. He shows us the harvest, and then sends us into an even bigger one.
It is beyond our imagination how it all came together. Factors from across the world and across centuries of time have come into this moment. Trillions of decisions and factors have been woven into something exactly perfect for us. And, He is going to look even more famous than He already is.
So, are you wondering what is going to happen in your life beloved? Keep wondering. Keep looking at Him. The answers are coming. Tonight is your night beloved. Time to believe it is going to happen just like you already know He said it will.
