O sweetness of my heart! O life of my soul, joyous resting place of my spirit! O bright and beautiful day of eternity, serene light deep within me! Flowering paradise of my heart! When shall I be wholly thine? When shall I cease to be my own? When shall nothing but thyself live in me? When shall I love thee with the fullest ardour? When shall I be wholly enkindled by the flame of thy love?
~Saint Peter of Alcántara (1499-1562)
Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from His sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.
~ Hebrews 4:11-13
Oh beloved, it is true. We often find ourselves falling into the intellectual-soulish trap of believing that if we just present the truth in love (with clarity and compelling evidence), that many will see the truth, repent, and submit to it.
And of course, this is not true.
We, in the work He has put before us can enter into a sorrow which is is so deep, into a Love for others which is so strong, and a vision of eternity so clear that it threatens to tear us (and this fool of a writer) asunder. We want, with everything within us, for others to both believe and then come to know the Truth.
And yet this is exactly what He is intending to do. He does want to tear us apart. He is tearing us away from any reliance on our own brainpower and intellect and human passion and soul in this endeavor. Surely, we will use the intellect He has given us, but it must be utterly subservient to the Holy Spirit – and even our own spirit now-made-Alive within us by Him.
And people will not believe. Truth is simply not a choice item on the menu of the vast majority of people in this world. Feeling and lust and desire and wishing take precedence over simply yielding to that which is true, noble, just, pure and lovely.
Yes, surely we are to speak the truth. However, there is as a wise friend of this writer says, “a fire-wall of responsibility” on the part of the preacher and oracle of His Truth. When delivering it to others, we are fully responsible to bring the truth of the Truth to as many as G_d enables us to bring it to. And we are to weep for the lost, we are to ache and pray for their deliverance. But it is not our purview to bring about the release. It is only our responsibility to be obedient to the One who does the actual work in those who will believe.
Can we see it? He is teaching us that we must – perhaps some more than others – be only an oracle of His presence and words and Love. Our mind, left to itself, is too strong, the brain too powerful, and it fights for domination of our being. It is like the middle of the tri-partite (body, soul, spirit) funnel-cone keeps trying to play the part of the widest part of the funnel (our spirit).
Further, the soul within us has a fulcrum within itself. We are either tipped towards the Infinite Source of Life within us (abiding in Him), or tipping towards self – and ultimately the flesh. And for each of us, a trip back into the flesh is certainly death (Romans 8, Hebrews 6). And as He tears us apart, dividing joint and marrow, soul and spirit, He is showing us this fulcrum point in our lives. And as painful as this is, He is making it easier for us to tell when we are getting off track (ceasing from abiding) and starting to move under our own strength.
Oh friend, when He shows us this tipping point, what will we do? Let Him cut deeper and more cleanly into us? Or will we shrink back and maintain our rights? Would that we would lay still while He works and rest in the fact that He is actively working all things for Good in our lives and knows exactly what He is doing.
