The first thing that Jesus promises is suffering: “I tell you… you will be weeping and wailing… and you will be sorrowful.” But he calls these pains birth pains. And so, what seems a hindrance becomes a way; what seems an obstacle becomes a door; and what seems a misfit becomes a cornerstone. Jesus changes our history from a random series of sad incidents and accidents into a constant opportunity for a change of heart.
~Henri J. M. Nouwen
In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!” And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am undone; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.” And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”
~ The crisis of Isaiah in Isaiah 6
Lord soak me so deeply in You, that when i am cut, i bleed Love.
~ Makala Barnabas Doulos
We do, beloved, live in a both a spiritual and physical battle-zone; and the aftermath of the horrible choices we have made in our lives.
Firstly, about us rage terrible forces of evil. There are real demons. There are real fallen beings who hate us. Oh, it is not that they really take too much interest in us personally. They only hate us because they cannot have us. The hate they have is focused on the One who has so mightily saved us. Doubt this not reader. And doubt not the truth that these are beings endowed with enormous power; power well able to overcome the feeble flesh we inhabit (and too often trust).
This battle against spiritual forces of evil takes many forms.
The thoughts launched into our minds (masquerading as our own).
The obfuscation of truth in an organization
The twisting of reality in our perception
The sickness that assaults our frame
The bitterness that wants to take root in our souls
The fears that hammer against our courage
And this is only the beginning. For the fight just mentioned is against a defeated foe. The other battle takes place on ground still being contested. And this is where Infinite force is required. Only G_d can bring about the resolution needed. This fight is against the “I” that still demands its place in a believer.
And further, this “I” in me has committed nearly innumerable atrocities against the Holy One. Surely, all of the sins have been paid for. We are forgiven. There is no place for shame or doubt about this. This is done. For the infinitely valuable blood of The Perfect Son of Man, has been poured out to wash ALL of this away.
But notice, it is the sins – that is, the transgressions themselves – which have been washed away by the astoundingly precious Blood and work of the One who poured it out. However, we see further that the resurrection of Jesus brings us into a new life wherein we are a totally new creation in Him. We have the capability to live in total, complete, utter victory through the power of His Spirit which works so mightily within us.
There is still a problem though. “I” still have the capability to make some terrible mistakes. And so, the conundrum of the walk of a believer under grace begins. Oh wretched man that I am! Who can save me from this body of sin?
Him.
There begins then, in every believer, a process. This process will indeed end in us looking just like Him; actually being like Him. For He has promised this to be true. And there is no doubt that G_d is very good at everything He does.
The issue for some of us, though, that the “I” within us will not be broken without significant, and loving intervention by the One who is Love. And the Love does not always look like what we want it to look like. For this Love sometimes takes the form of a catastrophic blow or blows:
against our ego,
or our health
or our circumstances
or our career
or our freedom
or our relationships.
No, He does not do this stuff to us. His wrath was completely poured out on His Son on our behalf. However, G_d will allow us to crash our lives if we insist on doing it, and He will even accelerate the consequences to get our full attention.
And this is very good news.
As we lay there in a broken heap, we suddenly hear the sounds of singing and laughter. The beautiful Artisan goes to work setting us right. At first we think that there is no way that anyone could (or would even want to) fix us. Then, though, we think that the fixing is going to be to put us back together as we were before.
Wrong.
Can we see it? He does not make the new me like the old me. Yes, He takes the broken pieces and puts them back together. But, the pieces are not held together by flesh and experience. The old pieces of me are held together by He Himself and His Love. And this invisible repair actually leaves visible gaps in us.
However, the beauty of these gaps is that they are not gaps at all. They are now ways through which the old stubborn “Me” can actually manifest the Person of Christ and His Love to the world. And the beauty that people see is not even me, but the beauty of Him who pours forth through my former brokenness and wounds.
Just like G_d always does, He does the impossible, early and often. He takes the catastrophic failures of a man like me (and you), and makes them into astounding stories of success. And the lives He knits back together are so much more real and beautiful than they could have ever imagined being before.
So, have you crashed your life believer? Sit still. Can you hear that beautiful Voice singing? It is Him, He is running to your aid. Lie still. Let Him work.
