A vessel that grows as it is filled will never be full. If a bin able to hold a cartload grew while you were dumping your load in it, you could never fill it. The soul is like that: the more it wants the more it is given; the more it receives the more it grows.
~Meister Eckhart (c. 1260-c. 1327)
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.
~ 2 Corinthians 2:14-17
Oh beloved, it is true. He gets a hold of us. And He changes us into something completely and utterly new. Everything is different. We know it is true. And even so, somehow though, there seem to be those doubts that start to creep in.
What if?
But?
What about?
I can’t see how…
I’m afraid…
And herein is the conundrum of the believer. Is it OK to doubt? Yeah. It’s OK. Because actually the doubting is what points us to the Solution to the conundrum.
No Need for Chaos
His disciples said, “Ah, now you are speaking plainly and not using figurative speech! Now we know that You know all things and do not need anyone to question you; this is why we believe that You came from God.” Jesus answered them, “Do you now believe? Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave Me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with Me. I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
~ Jesus, King of Kings and LORD of Lords, in John 16
Sometimes, in seeing the tribulation, there seems to be within us this kind of fortress mentality that we have to hold out against the forces of evil in this world. It is like we feel the need to build some sort of a fence to keep out the bad stuff, and we need to gather our resources for a siege until the end, and the cavalry from Calvary comes to rescue us from the morass.
We feel like the chaos of the world is impinging on us, and that we might be crushed by the waves of horrid and putrid sin and hate and malice and disbelief which launch themselves around us like some sort of dark, sludgy storm in the night of this world.
And in doing so, we miss the purpose of our doubts completely.
Can we see it? Our doubts are meant to decimate our hope in ourselves. They are not meant to pump us up into some sort of action against evil – or to get us to embrace our fears. No, they are meant to send us running to the Strong Tower; The Author and Finisher of our faith.
Our doubts are meant to convince us that the battles we are in, are only winnable by SomeOne with gobs (read infinitely) more power than we possess. And in finding ourselves turning to The Infinite Power Source, we almost instantly become aware that our doubts about ourselves make sense, but that any doubts we had about our standing in the universe were completely unfounded.
He is in us. We are in Him.
Infinite Power and Love does not compete against evil. Power and Love without measure trumps any measure of force which will attempt to stand against it. Said simply, G_d wins – always has, always does, always will.
And once we get a hold of this Truth in our lives the perceived needs for chaos and doubt simply drop away, and in their place grows an ever-expanding vision of what G_d has been doing to bring us to this point – what He is doing right now – and where He is taking us in the future.
We, in seeing this triumph of unchanging and immutable Goodness in our lives, begin to see that we are merely at the bleeding edge of the victory He will continue in our Blood-bought Lives forever. We are, with His Name on our foreheads, to reign with Him, forever, across an infinite new heavens and new earth.
Beloved, the chaos we see and feel are but the aftershocks of a war that is already over. Jesus is control. And it is time for us to stop quaking in the little thatched huts of our lives and start to live free and strong in the Love and Strength and Joy and Power and Peace and Righteousness He has already provided.
“How you are fallen from heaven,
O Day Star, son of Dawn!
How you are cut down to the ground,
you who laid the nations low!
You said in your heart,
‘I will ascend to heaven;
above the stars of God
I will set my throne on high;
I will sit on the mount of assembly
in the far reaches of the north;
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.’
But you are brought down to Sheol,
to the far reaches of the pit.
Those who see you will stare at you
and ponder over you:
‘Is this the man who made the earth tremble,
who shook kingdoms,
who made the world like a desert
and overthrew its cities,
who did not let his prisoners go home?’
All the kings of the nations lie in glory,
each in his own tomb;
but you are cast out, away from your grave,
like a loathed branch,
clothed with the slain, those pierced by the sword,
who go down to the stones of the pit,
like a dead body trampled underfoot.
You will not be joined with them in burial,
because you have destroyed your land,
you have slain your people.
~ the end of Lucifer, prophesied in Isaiah 14