Only in the context of the great encounter with Jesus Christ Himself can a real authentic struggle take place. The encounter with Christ does not take place before, after, or beyond the struggle with our false self and its ‘demons’. No, it is precisely in the midst of this struggle that our Lord comes to us and says, ‘As soon as you turned to My again, you see I was beside you.’ …We enter into solitude first of all to meet our Lord and to be with Him and Him alone. Our primary task therefore in solitude, is not to pay undue attention to the many faces which assail us, but to keep the eyes of our heart on Him who is our divine Saviour. Only in the context of such grace can we face our sin; only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds; only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature. As we come to realize that it is not we who live, but Christ who lives in us, that He is our true self, we can slowly let our compulsions melt away and begin to experience the freedom of the children of God.
~Henry Nouwen
For if we have been united with Him in a death like His, we shall certainly be united with Him in a resurrection like His. We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death He died He died to sin, once for all, but the life He lives He lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Romans 6
“Come away beloved.”
Oh beloved, it is true. We hear Him. He is calling us into a freedom that we never dreamed possible before He made us alive in Himself. The problem is that we are much more comfortable with our rebellion. We seem to think that having our own way is a better solution than truly living as a freeman of the Kingdom.
We look out at the vast horizons before us, and we seem to think that staying put in the hovel of our flesh may be a better idea. We never really have like living in the stench of our existence, but at least we know what the cracking plastic of our environment is like.
And still He speaks… “Come away beloved. Arise my fair one. You are the particular object of My affection. I have Loved you with an everlasting Love.”
Something in us knows that if we step into this Light, it will be the most delicious thing we have ever done. And outside of our little hut of rebellion we can hear the cool air of freedom whipping the flag of Freedom in Zion. Really, there is no doubt. But we hesitate.
We say, “What will people think? Won’t they think i am crazy? Won’t they become concerned about my theology?”
“Yes child. They will persecute you. They may even kill you. But even this would be nothing but a slight ripple in the pond of the Peace I will bring to your life.” He continues, “You could be sharing a habitation with Me. It is very large – infinite actually. I find it quite cozy. Will you join Me?”
“But Father, why am i so in Love with what i hate? Why do i want to return to the vomit of my past?”
“Do you son?”
And suddenly, we get it. The voice that has been screaming at us, is the same old voice we used to listen to before we were made alive in Him. But now, with the oddest clarity, we realize that that voice is dead. It is but shadow and echo and void. We actually see it wreathing on the floor screaming and wheezing, trying to get us to breath some more strength into it…
“You are free beloved. Would you walk away?”
Then… one more glance back at the shrinking foul mass of who we were, and we begin to see the futility of staying and listening to it. It keeps trying to argue that things will be better if we just give it another try… Liars alway lie.
We take breath and turn away. “Yes Papa. Let’s go.”
And the Smile we see before us is the most amazing thing we have ever seen. “Come away beloved. We have so much to do together. And eternity is actually not big enough to contain the adventure and the joy we will have on this journey. Hurry! We must be off!!!”
So. Are you hesitating at the doorstep of true freedom in Christ? Just look at Him dear reader. Listen to the cool wind of His Spirit, and wait not one more minute before you bolt out of the threshold of that dreadful shack in which you feel like you are stuck.
That voice is dead. Walk away. You are free. Tonight is your night to finally see the Smile you already know is there.
Dear Abba, Rather than a life of faith I seem to be living a life of contingencies. Rather than an open-armed yes! I’ve got an anxious brow and nervous hands and a mouthful of what ifs? I truly am a prodigal, demanding my cake and eating it too when all I really want to do is go home to that safe place where I don’t have to be afraid, where everything is freedom and light and love. I want to experience the glorious liberty of a child of God. And so this day I will not ask what if? but rather why not? Yes, why not!
~Brennan Manning, Dear Abba: Morning and Evening Prayer
