Integrity is only found at the moment where the bedrock of self has been shattered, and a new depth of being discovered.
~ Makala Barnabas Doulos
I am the True Vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples. As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full… “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.
~ Jesus, King of The Universe (and my Best Friend), in John 15
Oh beloved, it is true. We want to be real and whole and free. There is a deep problem though. We know that this is completely impossible. Everything we try gets in the way and mucks up the gears. No matter which direction we try to take, we keep getting in the way of any sort of success.
The problem is deep. And it is deeper than we can first even see.
Humans, you. Me. We were made in the image of G_d. They made us with the most profound ability to choose. We can literally choose whether to live or to die. And we can choose whether to end the life of another. We are, to put it bluntly, godlike. But while we have some of the attributes of deity, we do not possess His essential nature.
And until we do, we are the most dangerous of beings. We have the ability to literally wreak havoc among the others who have been created in the same image. We are little animal bullies running around in the shop, beating on each other and making a mess. Anything good that begins to grow in us is corrupted as we begin to celebrate the power – and the weeds of self quickly sour it into evil.
Again, we do not possess the essence of Who He is, and we never can without a catastrophic ending of our endeavors. There is something (and someone) that must come to a dead stop, and then have their eyes turned in a direction they have never looked: Away from themselves. For only in this kind of gaze can we even begin to imagine that we might become like Him.
It is actually quite simple. G_d is Love. And Love does not seek its own gain, or gloat over the power that it has. But, in an infinite G_d pouring out all of Who He is into His other Selves, and into us – nothing is lost. There can be no loss in something without measure. Nor can there be corruption, for who He is so full as to never change.
Can we see it? This is where we have to go with our own lives. We too need to pour ourselves out completely. And there is a problem. We are not infinite. We, in fact, have very little within us. However, this very little is enough to begin the spoiling process by its presence, and so it must be done away with in order for real life to begin within us.
However, once this death has occurred, there does flow into us a new kind of Life we never expected. Instead of trying to develop and leverage our puny little strengths, we now are purely supplied by a limitless Source which cannot be contained. Being pure Love it is potent beyond measure, and carries with it the Authority of Himself.
As we abide in this place, anything we say now, is what is going to happen. Because it is not really us doing the talking. We have become one with the One who is already standing in the future moments He is sharing with us. The future we are seeing, is simply His present and we are seeing it with His eyes, as we look through His, and He through ours.
So, do you feel like things keep spoiling as you work on self-improvement? The Word never says we are to be improved. It says we are to be replaced. He has already died for you beloved. Tonight is your night. Time to allow the death He died to become yours.
