A re-post as this writer enters his third culture in just over three years.
The immutability of God appears in its most perfect beauty when viewed against the mutability of men. In God no change is possible; in men change is impossible to escape. Neither the man is fixed nor his world, and he and it are in constant flux.
A. W. Tozer (1897-1963)
James, a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
~ James 1:1-4
It will happen. Any missionary, diplomat, worker, teacher, anyone who has moved into a new culture will feel it. And it is usually somewhere after a couple of lunar cycles. Just after the circadian rhythms have finally stabilized.
Massive deceleration.
Epic disorientation.
The viral load of change threatens to change the very equation that is the constant of a person’s life. We get sick. Nothing is fun any more in the new place. It is that darkness before the dawn, but with the sickening feeling that dawn may never actually come. Oh, we know it will – but the evil one uses this moment of perceived crisis to re-introduce ideas about things that used to bring us false comfort.
Said simply: we can regress into self-comforting behaviors, or even actual sin, when we get too hungry, angry, lonely, tired or disoriented.
In coming to a new culture, it is as if we are a flag that has been attached to a new flag pole in a violent windstorm. Or, in a separate but same way, we are rather like bullet being fired into a bucket of molasses.
What to do?
Stop. Stay attached. Abide. Wait.
Can we see it beloved? So much of what we thought was His victory in our lives – was really comfort and self-confidence. Oh, the Blessing was real. However, the spiritual and physical exercise we were able to do in culture where everything was easy – was good – but it was all work we were doing within a very broad comfort zone He had created and in which we dwelt.
He moves us, He carries us to new places. Why?
He does it that He might wring more glory out of our dusty frames. He does it that others might see that we can do absolutely none of this life on our own. He does it that we might become devoid of any love of self other than Love He has poured into us. He does it so that we might actually begin to become like Him and become actual light to the world.
This writer is, right now, in that place. i am so tired. My body is sick. My mind is disoriented. And there are moments where i cannot feel His presence. As one of those who usually sit at His feet, this yields a feeling of panic and a bitter taste rises in the back of the throat of one’s soul. i am so tired of myself, and my own weaknesses. i am so tired of the fact that there is so much more in me that my Beloved must cut away before i will be truly usable to Him at all times and in all places.
And in all of this, He does not change. His Word tells me, and His Spirit within tells me that He will ever be with me – He will not ever leave me; He will not ever forsake me.
So, there is another truth that is most surely true… As a writer’s work is almost always autobiographical; and if a writer is one who abides in the shadow of the Most High, the writing this audience will soon read will be rather loud praises for the One who has brought Him through yet another trial. The evil one will see another defeat. And G_d will get a bit more glory that He is gloriously due.
But, right now, this writer is hoping that day is only minutes away… for my counting it all joy is only that of reckoning – and very little of the feeling of that strength that flows from Him.
Pray for me friends. Dawn is most surely coming. But it is pretty dark right now.
