A re-post on culture stress
Faith does not struggle; faith lets God do it all.
~ Corrie ten Boom (1892-1983)
I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples. As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in John 15
Last week was kind of like the heat of re-entry for this writer. This week feels more like the first breaths of a breathable atmosphere. I am getting some bearings, understanding a little Bahasa Indonesian, and am actually coming out of the tunnel vision of culture/relational shock. The main issue before me is to realize that the feelings of control are just that – feelings; and to stay in utter dependence on Him.
I am feeling the dynamic that Paul spoke about in 1 Corinthians 7 regarding having my attentions divided between pleasing Him and pleasing a wife. My monastic life from late 2010 through mid 2012 was a great privilege, and now I am seeing this a the greatest challenge…. Significantly greater than the tactical impact of culture shock…that I stay wholly devoted to Him and get my life from Him so that I can rightly pour out that life for my bride and my 6 kids – and then others. That, instead of living any sort of my relationship to Him vicariously through my spouse. This was the greatest error in my prior attempts at relationship. I took life and satisfaction FROM people, instead of giving it to them and simply receiving whatever love they were able to give in the moment.
This is a particular temptation in a relationship where a spouse is incredibly giving and submissive. My bride is this way. And while it is partially cultural, she just has a gentle and giving spirit towards me, and loves me so openly and passionately, that it would be really easy to make her a proxy for a true relationship with Him.
Can we see it though beloved? The only way past this stuff is to stop struggling. We must stop trying in our own power to be good spouses, friends, and family members. We need to simply abide in Christ. There is no other answer.
