Blessing those who have hurt you is a decision of your will that may go against how you feel.
~ Tony Evans
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil…
~ Peter “The Pebble,” in 1 Peter 3
Oh beloved, it is true. We each have so far to go on the road we are travelling. In some ways we are already there. Our spirits have been seated with Him in heavenly places. But our souls and bodies have a lot of catching up to do.
Earlier this week, this fool of a writer literally faced the potential of dying at the hand of his brother-in-law. My brother was drunk, and had decided that anger and knives and fists were the way to handle a situation. It was ironic that he did not even fully comprehend what was going on.
He drew blood. Not a lot, but it was enough to let me know the fight was real.
And on the backside of the attack, i honestly have not felt a whole lot of fear. Rather, what i have felt is anger and indignation. Unfortunately as well, i have felt fleeting desires building within me to waste this man and leave him bleeding in the street. i am not a tough guy, but i am built with some strength and cunning.
So, for me to accomplish vengeance would not take very much. In fact, it would be somewhat easy in the natural. i even had the opportunity to end this guy’s life during the fight, when he put down his weapon. Thankfully though, i simply removed the large, blue kitchen knife from the scene and returned to keeping him at bay until the police arrived.
Then, over the next couple of days, the need to face my attacker came about. He had seen the error of his ways, and had agreed to meet with the senior member of the family. He would be publicly apologizing and facing financial sanctions (note that i do not reside in a part of the world where law rules nearly as strongly as it should).
i had spent some of the time after the attack beefing up my ability to defend the house. And in the purchasing of some defensive tools, the consensus from the local islanders selling weapons was that i should have simply killed the man. Nobody seemed to see any other way (though i only spoke to a couple of people). Vengeance, it seems, would have been a viable course in this place.
But then, here i was, sitting at the table with the man who had – some 72 hours prior – been trying to kill me. He was broken and also a bit injured from the fight i had put up against him with my pitiful 2-dollar umbrella. He was also broke, basically homeless and penniless. He was years from having had a job, and potentially years from getting a good one.
i had prayed a lot during the last few days, but my mind was pretty disjointed. The only areas where my thoughts seemed to coalesce were in the areas where i was demanding respect and reparations. Even so, i was praying that G_d would fix me, and make me see this like He saw it (even though i did not feel one bit like it).
So, here i was, sitting across the table from my penniless brother. What was i going to do?
“Help me Father.”
“Love him son.”
And somehow the words that poured out of me after his apologies were things very much other than the dreaded “I” in me wanted to say. Rather, what came out were words of encouragement about his skills as an electrician and handyman. i spoke to him about the reality that he had The Church, his family, and his skills… And that even if he could not believe in himself at the moment, we could and would believe in him now.
Further, i spoke into some of the very real pain this brother has had in his past. Real loss that is devastating. He has lost his only two children to disease, and a wife (though still breathing) to mental illness. i spoke about miscommunication that had happened in the family in the past, and validated his feelings.
What was i doing???? i wanted to ruin this guy. Then, we began to speak about a plan for getting him back on track. And in the discussion we talked about ways we could invest in doing this right now.
“Give him 20,000.” (nearly three months pay on this island).
So, i checked off with my wife who was in the meeting and she concurred. But as i got up to walk out of the little restaurant, to find an ATM, i found myself yelling out to G_d. “This is messed up!”
“Bless those who curse you. And pray for those who persecute you.”
So i did. And i confess that there was very little “warm fuzziness” in my feelings. Oh, i love the brother, and i really do want the best for him. But, even after giving him the money through the senior family member at the table, i still gave him a fairly salty earful of a warning against ever trying anything like this ever again.
But as i got up to leave, i shook the senior family member’s hand, and gave the offending brother a hug. My wife then walked with me towards the exit of the restaurant.
She looked at me incredibly softly and said, “You could have killed him when he put down the knife. But you put it away in a safe place. Also, you are quite a man my priest. I am very impressed by what you have just done.”
i answered, “Beloved. i am nobody. This is all about what He has done in my life. But He really has done it. This is what Love does.”
And it was in that moment, this fool realized that…
He really does work all things together for good.
He really does set us free to Love.
He really does make us slaves to righteousness.
He really does make us like Himself.
And we don’t even have to feel like doing it.
Been a good week. Hope this story helps you. It has helped me in the telling of it. Perhaps you have some pain of an injury in your life. Perhaps it is time to go do some good towards the very one who hurt you. HE will help you. It is worth it.
Just Love.
