Our heart oft times wakes when we sleep, and God can speak to that, either by words, by proverbs, by signs and similitudes, as well as if one was awake.
~John Bunyan (1628-1688)
I want to be a follower of the sacred dream, and one day arrive fully free, free at last.
~Brennan Manning
I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth, for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak, and He will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take what is Mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is Mine; therefore I said that He will take what is Mine and declare it to you.
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in John 16
We are, beloved, in touch with ourselves at all times. And often, we are more awake to the reality of who were are deeply, when our eyes are closed, and our head is on the pillow. When, as the false walls of our consciousness and self-absorbed fears come down, we can begin to process the things that really need to be worked through.
The path that this fool of a writer is on started when he was in 6th grade. Dr. Bob Pierce had spoken at a church service in the town where i grew up. He spoke of life in Christ, and the freedom that came from being a slave to the One who saved us. At the end of this message, Something compelled me to stand (with another half-dozen people) in front of a group of nearly 1,000 people and commit to going wherever G_d told me to go.
i had no idea…
The first attempt was a short trip across the world to Australia, to help a church build a youth camp. The summer was one where my enormous ego began to be chipped away. Also, the beginnings of an understanding of how important my faith was began to grow.
Growth and failure and a little more growth and a whole lot more failure…
Then, in 1986, a fellow student walked up to me in my English class at Arizona State University… And what he said has never dropped out of my consciousness. Actually, he blew the doors clean off of my paradigms at the time.
“Brother, can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure.”
He said, “I had a dream about you. I have to tell you about it.”
I said, “Ummm, OK.”
“You were preaching the Gospel in China in front of a large number of people. There may have been a baptism or something going on. Things were not going so well for you. There was some hostility in the crowd. But, you were bold and spoke the truth.”
This moment was nearly 30 years ago, and the words he said are not absolutely clear to me today, but it is not because i don’t remember the moment. Rather, it is because the moment hammered me so hard that i was dazed as i walked away from it. It was not a chatty interchange at the end of a class. It was, rather, like being hit by a car outside the building instead.
i still had no idea….
Another stint on the field, in Germany this time. More failure. More growth. More brokenness. And a sense that what i was doing was good, but it was not where i was supposed to be. So, i took my wife and three kids back to Arizona and went into the marketplace for about 20 years.
But the dream the fellow student had shared with me never went away. In fact, it had become part of the foundation of my thinking. And upon a business trip to China one year in the mid ’90s, the dream flooded back into my life.
i still had no idea….
More failure followed. There came the death of my first marriage and the death of any hope that i could live my life the way i had been living it in the past. i went to get some help. And in that place, another man walked up to me in a dining room. He had energy very similar to the man who had spoken to me nearly 25 years earlier.
“Brother, can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure.”
He said, “I had a dream about you. I have to tell you about it.”
I said (this time), “Absolutely”
“You are to be the cornerstone of many ministries to people. God is going to use you in great ways. I am absolutely sure of this. I just had to tell you.”
This moment brought much of my life into focus. All of the training and failure (lots of it) and success (a fair amount of that too) and learning and growing were turning me into someone who could be just this kind of person. The man into which He was molding me could support others in their work.
i still had no idea….
But now, the failures were done. i had hit rock-bottom and found at the bottom of the pit of my failures, was the One who had mightily Saved me so many years ago; the One to Whom i had pledged my allegiance. He launched me out of the pit and into a number of years of ministry that have been quite fruitful.
And then, i was starting to get an idea.
Three years have been in Indonesia, ministering among the Chinese population here. And among these people, nearly 200 have walked into true faith in the One who had saved me so many years ago. And even one of the halls in which i preached seemed to resemble the hall that had grown in my imagination and dreams over the years.
Still, it was not the fulfillment of the dream.
We had been Led to look further up into Asia for a place to work, and it seemed as though we were going to Tokyo. The indicators were that things were going to happen. But suddenly, the door slammed shut. It was perplexing, but faith-building.
Then, the dream happened to me.
i was on road. It was well-paved concrete, and came to a T-intersection. i did not know which way to go… I heard Him clearly, “Go left.” And as i obeyed, i looked off to the side of the road on my right and saw an enormous, unfinished edifice. The building was under construction, but the work and craftsmanship was of very high quality.
What was this about??
Then came the call. It was from China. An international coalition there wanted me to come and teach Bible and Christian philosophy at one of their schools… And going up from my current home base in the Philippines to Tokyo, then turning left, put me on a course directly towards the first city with which i had contact in China.
i still have no idea…
But of this, i am sure. The dreams He gives us are true. We have but to follow the path He sets before us. He will make the way sure. Will you follow the dream He is giving you? Tonight is your night, beloved. Time to follow Him wherever He leads.
