Shame Is The Prelude to Failure

Remorse is to carry your own accuser within your breast.
~ George Moore (1852-1933)

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Romans 8

Oh beloved, it is true. There is something in our lives that we most definitely want to avoid. However, the problem is that anything we do to avoid it, causes us to fall deeper into it. The issue is sin.

And the problem of sin is much deeper than the foolish and evil acts we commit. Further, sin is not just the good things we fail to do. Sin is an attitude. Sin is a mindset. Sin is a perspective that what I want is more important than anything else. Sin is the voice that says, “to hell with everything else (including myself), I am going to do what I want to do in this moment.”

And the effects on the soul of a man who has turned himself over to Jesus are devastating. For the acts themselves are bad enough, but the heart attitude that just threw me into an adulterous affair with the world, makes me want to retch. 

My spirit recoils in terror at the re-ascension of my unredeemable flesh to the throne of my life. For, even if that usurpation by my old man was only momentary – it reminds me of the terror of life before i was set free from bondage to the monster that I was.

We sit there panting and wondering: why? Why did i just do that, or think that, or refuse the thing i knew was right? What is it within me that would make me think (even knowing it was not true) that i wanted to do my own thing?

In this, the metallic, and acidly bitter aftertaste of the eruption of our flesh rises in the back of our soulish throat… What are we going to do?  And, while we are not often aware of it, the inner debate that occurs sets the stage for a return to freedom – or further bondage.

The obvious approach, though, is the opposite to the path to freedom.

Everything in us feels the wretchedness of our old man, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with recognizing it as wretched. The problem is that same old, wretched being is also a liar. And in already having pulled us towards the grave it is in, it wants to whisper more putridity into our soulish ears.

“You are horrible, it says. You should be ashamed of yourself. There is no way you can enjoy fellowship with G_d now – at least for a time. You need to get by yourself and get your life back together a little before you start acting spiritual again.”

And as we listen to this voice, we feel the gravity of our sins. Oh, have no doubt, every act which falls short of the glory of G_d is what put our precious Jesus on the cross. Each of us has fallen completely short, and the righteous payment for our unrighteousness is death. However, the problem is that we miss the end of the beautiful sentence of Jesus in His fleshly, human existence. Regardless, what He said makes all the difference.

It is finished!

All sin, for all time, in all places, by all people has been forgiven. And anyone (read each and every one) who has changed their minds about their own ability to handle their own sin, and cast themselves on Christ for this forgiveness, is forgiven.

Read this again. Forgiven. Totally. Utterly. Completely. Forgiven.

So, in all this we have a choice. And the choice is really the same choice that led us into the sin in the first place. Are we going to listen to His Voice, or are we going to listen to our flesh?

Can we see it though? One voice is dead. Listening to dead things is, quite simply, goofy. The other Voice is Life Himself. And when we see things for what they really are, it can become a bit easier to make the right choice.

Who you gonna listen to? 

Where did the siren song of your flesh take you each and every time you listened? Got it? Now, where did the Voice of Life Himself take you each and every time you listened to His Spirit? Got it? No contest. Infinite Spirit trumps finite flesh. Always.

So, if the above is true (and it most surely is), why do we want to listen to the dead voice that tells us we should feel ongoing shame about the failures we just experienced? Has it ever led us in the right direction? No, the shame is just the seedbed for the next failure. It is a burden so heavy, that we will most surely collapse into failure again under its weight.

What if we just listened to what Jesus has already said?  What if we just looked to Him and trusted Him for what He has proclaimed already done? Would this not be the most honoring thing we could do for the One who has forgiven us? Wouldn’t this looking to Him (and the accompanying looking away from ourselves) free us from the shame? Surely.

And as the shame falls away, we see that the flesh had it completely wrong (as usual). For, as we look into His eyes, we sense the only thing that keeps us from listening to the death-dealing siren songs of our old man. His Great Love. All the things the flesh screamed we would get, are in His eyes – and in the Heart behind them.

Why would we ever want to go anywhere else?  Shame will only take us farther away from the freedom our rebellion was trying to find. And His forgiveness has already put us on, and kept us on that path.

Tonight is your night beloved.  Let go of the shame. It is not doing any good. Just look into His eyes. You will find what you need there – and only there.