We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.
~Thích Nhất Hạnh
At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
~ Jesus, King of The Universe, in Matthew 11
Oh beloved, it is true. We are a needy people. This desperate need for everything is shown in the natural by the reality that, deprived of a simple Oxygen molecule for a few minutes, we would die. This picture – that without wind we die – is merely a shadow of the spiritual reality that we need Him desperately for all things.
Thanks be to G_d that He is indeed the One who meets our need. And here we see that the spiritual points to the natural world in which we live. G_d does not meet our needs because we compel Him to do it, or cajole Him with some sort of antics or good behavior. No, He simply is Who He is. He is Love, and being Love, He does what He does.
He Loves us not to cajole us either. He would not possess us as some sort of puppet. He would, though, welcome us as a bride who welcomes His ravishing covenant Love – and who becomes His bonded slave of Love through common exchange of Life. He has seen our suffering, and suffered what was needed to set us free that we might welcome Him into our arms (and we into His).
Hopefully, in the natural, we now can see the model for how a relationship needs to work, for it to really work. We can see that it is completely OK for us to have needs. We can see that it is even best for us to express those needs as an expression of our humanity and weakness.
Can we see it? However, we can also see that we should not ever expect that someone must be compelled to meet our needs. Whether they be a friend, a spouse, a family member, or co-worker, for us to cajole someone into giving us what we need, is but to elicit a response that is anything but Love. And to make someone give us what we need is not Love either on our part.
Said simply: Love is something we should definitely ask for. And in just the same way, it something we can never take by force.
So, are you struggling to get your needs met? Are you trying to get someone to Love you? This errand is foolish, for the destination does not exist. Love only flows in one direction beloved. It flows from you, towards another. It flows from others, towards you. And hopefully, we can see that we are only in control of our flow, and not another’s.
Tonight is your night beloved. Time to understand how to get your needs met. Just Love, and allow Him and others to Love you as they will.
