We need to fearlessly step out and activate His promises. It is intimacy that gives us the grace and strength we need to push through suffering, pain, and inconvenience.
~Heidi Baker
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
~ Wisdom from Proverbs 3:1-8
Oh beloved, it is true. There is within us a belief we must cast away. For in continuing to believe. We miss the chance at growing in the only thing that can please the G_d who would save us. Everything in our media tells us to believe. The Disney’s and Huffs and CNNs and Discoverys and on could go the list, scream that we need to believe in ourselves.
Sorry. It’s not true. We are broken and fallen and coming apart at the seams. And anything (read every thing) we attempt has, does and will fall short of the glory of G_d and His purposes for our lives. Even so, the insane broken-record voice in our heads says we should give it go.
Our love has the wrong object (us first), and in setting our hearts upon our own image, we continue to think in the wrong direction. We make decisions and contemplate things from a template and pallette of wisdom so small, that there actually is little chance we are going to get things right.
Oh yes, we seem to have grown enough in faith to have the sense (in some global sense) that G_d has a wonderful plan for our lives, and we are mildly interested in some sort of destination we call heaven. But actually, to most of us this is a fuzzy and far off mystery to which we pay little attention. Surely this is another function of our egocentricity.
Then one day, something in us snaps. We come to the end of who we are. And for most of us it doesn’t take too long. Our capacity for knowledge is so limited, and the variables and problems we face quickly outstrip our ability to understand even what we are up against.
And in this crisis, we try again to believe real hard in something… Ourselves again, or G_d, or in faith or in something… But it doesn’t work. And then…… we give up.
“Oh how I Love you child. I always have. Always will.”
We say, “Who is that?”
“I AM with you. I Love you. I know the Way. For I AM The Way. May I take the lead?”
“Oh, its You! I have been trying to get home, but I keep losing the path.”
Then He says, “I know. How is that working for you?”
“Not so good Father.”
“Are you done yet?”
“Yes Papa.”
And in this moment we stop believing in two things. First, we stop believing in ourselves. But then, something amazing happens in the storm of Love that has just washed over us. We stop believing in G_d Himself. Oh, it is not that we doubt His existence. It is rather, that we stop believing like He is some proposition to be accepted or rejected.
We come to the place of understanding He is a Person. He is simply real; even more real than we are. And in this moment we come apart from leaning on our own thinking and lean instead into His everlasting arms. As we, we can see His hands. We are astonished!
“What is that written on your hands Papa?!?!”
He answers, “You child. All of you. Your entire life. It’s wonderful. It has My entire focus and attention. I AM overflowing with Joy over how it is going to turn out. May I show it to you? It will take your whole life to show you… all the way into deepest eternity.”
“Yes! Oh please! Yes!”
And the relief that floods our tiny little minds washes away the bitter dryness of our trying in but a moment. We no longer heaven as a far away hope for the future. We now see that eternity is now, and that it is in knowing Him and His amazing Love. We have cast away our feeble attempts at belief, and come to rest in faith – simply knowing Him for who He is.
So, are you struggling to believe? Tonight is your night beloved. Time to quit believing, and come to simply know He Loves you. The faith will come from that alone. And the faith that comes will be more than enough to see you through.
