O sweetness of my heart! O life of my soul, joyous resting place of my spirit! O bright and beautiful day of eternity, serene light deep within me! Flowering paradise of my heart! When shall I be wholly thine? When shall I cease to be my own? When shall nothing but thyself live in me? When shall I love thee with the fullest ardour? When shall I be wholly enkindled by the flame of thy love?
~Saint Peter of Alcántara (1499-1562)
Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Look out for the dogs, look out for the evildoers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh. For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Philippians 3
Oh beloved, it is true. We can become tired in this run Home to be fully with our Dad. So many things along the way want to trip us up and push us off the narrow path. However, the deadliest of our enemies along this road do not come from without, they dwell within.
We know that the flesh is not redeemable. And we have learned to put no confidence in it whatsoever. Anything it throws our way is bound to be a bad idea once it is picked up by our mind. This we know. And as we grow, we learn – in the power of His Spirit – to reckon that part of ourselves dead.
However, there is another part of us, aligned in interface to the body of flesh we inhabit. This soulical mind is redeemable. The problem is that it is very easily influenced by the physical organism to which it is attached. The mind is deeply connected to the brain, though our cranium does not contain it.
The mind can become very attached to the body of flesh it inhabits. For this would be its natural bent. The cells and muscles and impulses of the body are not bad in and of themselves. They are parts of us. The physical was made good by a very Good G_d. However, the self-assertion of this flesh is what has driven us into corruption through the body’s inability to come under the control of anything really.
And it is here, in a space like this, that the mind can become deceived. In listening to the whines for dominance the flesh makes, it takes on the same sense of emptiness and yearning that we feel in our loins or stomachs or pockets. However, instead of just whining and whimpering, the mind begins to think that the impulses make sense; and thus begins to feel the anxiety and fatigue of not getting what the flesh wants.
What manifests here are the psychological phenomena of anxiety and depression and chronic fatigue. We take on – in addition to the real burdens of life – the burdens of that part of us which is now to be counted dead. This fleshly old man requires no attention or care or fellowship or funding, but somehow it keeps wanting to get out of the grave to take another run at pulling all of us – body, soul, and spirit – back into the grave with it (as misery does love company).
So really, it is not that our soul gets tired. It is that it gets a sense of self that is utterly bloated by the false promises and harsh cries of our flesh. But in the bloating, there is a more mature understanding that none of what the flesh is crying for is going to do anything good. And in all of this enters a tension which bleeds off any strength we have within our human frame.
Can we see it? This is why it is so important for us to live and walk and worship in the spirit. There is a part of us that is now new, and it is connected not to the old man, but united with The New. This connection is how we are a new creation in Christ. We are connected to a completely different Source of Life and strength. This ancient and new Source does actually satisfy us fully. And the more we grow in communion with Him the stronger we grow.
So, are you feeling like the fatigue of life is overwhelming you beloved? Perhaps it is not that you are tired. Perhaps it is that your mind is actually filling itself from the wrong source. Perhaps it is time to stop listening to that part of us that is already dead in sin, and begin listening to that Part of us which has been raised from the dead and will never die again.
Tonight is your night beloved, time to focus on His Spirit. And when you do, you will find the strength was always there, you were just looking in the wrong direction.
