Truth divorced from experience will always dwell in doubt.
~Henry Krause
Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Look out for the dogs, look out for the evildoers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh. For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
~ paul, The Least of The Apostles, in Philippians 3
Oh beloved, it is true. We start in a state of mere belief. But belief is only the beginning.
We know for sure that without faith it is impossible to please Him. And trust alone in the work of Christ is what imparts to us the righteousness of G_d. These things can and often do happen absent any “feeling” or “experience” in the new believer. For faith is not a warm-fuzzy. Faith is convinced resting upon truth, and the Author and Finisher of the same.
However, in coming to faith in the One who has so mightily saved us, we begin to experience the torrential flow of His grace towards us. Oh, it is not that His grace was not there before. Rather, it is that we now know it to be true. But the sense of this flow is incomplete.
At first, we held the position of believer in Jesus by faith. And this is vital. And faith is not some sort of fall-back position. It is the firm foundation upon which we stand. For He is The Rock Himself. His Word is unchangeable. And over time, we become convinced of this. The structure, themes, tone, and message of Scripture, and its internal and external support persuade us fully.
We come to understand many things with our mind and soul.
We love Him, because He first Loved us.
We are saved by grace through faith.
We are free from sin.
We are bought by the blood of Christ.
We are to love others.
We are to share the gospel.
We are seen as righteous by the Father.
We are united with Him in baptism.
We are priests to our G_d and King.
All of these things fit together quite nicely, thank you, in some systematically and well-ordered theological box. We are devout patriots and believers of the good news. And this is great. Astounding actually. The way the entire message of the Word of G_d dovetails together is simply mind-blowing. But somehow, we almost think another epic tale could have been almost as good as this book on our shelf.
One day, for those who come to the end of their comfortable acceptance of, and even personal devotion to, the truth, there comes some sort of a crisis. The faith we have is real, but the substance and power of it seems somewhat flat. We have dotted all of our “I’s” and crossed all of our “T’s.” We have settled on the flavor of our theological meals, and understood the tricky words in the texts. But, in all of this work, we have not found the path to the true rest we seek.
We begin to ache for something else.
The ache brings anxiety.
The anxiety brings fear that we may be wrong.
The fear breeds more fear that He may not really Love us.
The doubts begin to grow until we have entered a true crisis of faith.
And we come to the edge of some chasm. Below us yawns an infinite depth and a darkness that is not evil, but it is utterly unknown. Something in us knows, simply knows, that the only path off of this edge is to jump. Many never do. Actually most never do; and most Christians dwell on the edge of abandonment until their actual physical dying breath. Others though, die to the fear before their bodies die and take the leap.
“What? What was that?” we say, as our feet land firmly on a beautifully soft and firm turf. We had just jumped off into the darkness, fully expecting to be dashed on some sort of rocks or something. However, the pain of staying in the dull twilight of our intellectual faith and growing doubts had compelled us to flee. Anything was better than attending one more symposium comparing one version of the Bible to another. Anything was better than listening to some preacher expound Greek verb tenses. We were sure of heaven (we thought), but the here and now was nearly unbearable.
And as we walk forward from where we just landed, we look around.
No more darkness, only Light.
No more silence, we hear now the wind of His Spirit whipping around us.
No more fear, only a sense of wonder and awe.
No more doubt, only a growing understanding.
No more isolation, only… Only What?
Oh my!
“Yes beloved. I AM here. Welcome. Actually, I have been here with you the whole time. You just could not (actually would not) see Me. Do you like what you see?”
“I… I… My Lord and My G_d!”
He says, “Yes, I AM. And I AM also your Husband, and Lover and King and Counselor and Friend. I AM all of these, and infinitely more. Do you receive this gift? I give it freely to all who seek to quench the thirst that builds in every man.”
In that moment, we are struck that the only reasonable response is a profound yes. So, “yes,” we say, and in the speaking something happens to us. He instantly opens some floodgate deep within our inner man, and from it flows the most delicious water we have ever known. It is literally, fully alive – even Life itself.
And in that same moment, we come to know that our belief was not in vain. But we also come to understand that our belief was not the whole story. The position of belief in the Truth (as powerful as this is), has become the experience of knowing Him personally.
And nothing is the same, ever again.
Tonight is the night beloved. Jump.
