Don’t trust to hold God’s hand; let Him hold yours. Let Him do the holding, and you the trusting.
~Hammer William Webb-Peploe
No soul can be really at rest until it has given up all dependence on everything else and has been forced to depend on the Lord alone. As long as our expectation is from other things, nothing but disappointment awaits us. Feelings may change, and will change with our changing circumstances; doctrines and dogmas may be upset; Christian work may come to naught; prayers may seem to lose their fervency; promises may seem to fail; everything that we have believed in or depended upon may seem to be swept away, and only God is left, just God, the bare God, if I may be allowed the expression; simply and only God.
~Hannah Whitall Smith
For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh… But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith — that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
~ from Philippians 3
One profound mystery of the Gospel is it’s utter backwardness to the ways of the cosmos. Everything in this system screams that somehow we can be good. We want to be good! We want to reach out to god, as we understand that it is right to reach out to him. We want to come to him on our terms and make him happy with our lives. We know the difference between right and wrong. Even the most evil among us seem to have some sense of justice – even if that sense is twisted beyond anything recognizable as normal.
We promise, we pray, we weep and we try – oh, do we try to get our act together.
And we fail.
We try harder. We make promises. We write them down, and we share them with our friends so that we can be accountable to each other.
And we fail again.
Then we get really serious. We change friends, churches, locations, diets, jobs, and doctrinal positions. We get a huge handle on truth. We fight the battle in our mind and finally get things straightened out.
And we fail again.
Then we realize that we really need this god’s help to get through the day. Really, we just don’t have enough strength to make it happen. We make god our “co-pilot.” And we really understand just how vital it is to have a co-pilot in our lives… REALLY important.
And we fail again. Epic fail after epic fail rolls with the credits.
And one day, we fall down on our face (spiritually and/or literally) and we just say: i can’t do this G_d. Not even one little bit. i am desperate L_RD. Please, i am just so fricking sick of myself. Anything i try to do is really just veiled – but altogether abject – evil. please… and i am desperately all out of any prospects that this might ever get better. And we finally whisper… with our last bit of strength.
please. i am nothing. i am fallen. Save me.
And He just smiles and says… “Oh beloved. Welcome in from the storm. Come in! Would you like something to eat? I AM drawing a bath, it will cleanse you completely and begin to heal your wounds. When you get out, I have prepared fresh clothes to cover you and comfort you.”
What? Don’t i need to do something for all of this? It is so beautiful and quiet and peaceful here. Why is the sky different? Why does everything just smell better here?
No, nothing at all. I AM so glad you let me help you. There is no other way in from the storm. Most die trying to get the Help they need.
But…
Peace my child. Your despair has yielded its fruit. Like the death of a seed bringing life, your abandonment of any hope in yourself has finally brought about a death of yourself that has made room for my Hope to flood your entire being. And my Hope never fades. Not ever.
What do i?…
Nothing. Would you like to sing with me? I have been singing over you for years in anticipation of this day!
Oh my!
Yes my beloved child. Oh, how I Love you. More than you will ever know. And this will never end. Just rest. There is no need to ever do anything on the feeble power supply you had before. I will provide all the power and purpose and strength you need – and I will teach you how to use it. Sound OK to you dear one?
And for the first time since you remember… you just fall off to sleep that night, knowing, KNOWING that that final despair was the sweetest moment of your life…
Oh yeah, it is going to get even better from here.
God be praised, that to believing souls
Gives light in darkness, comfort in despair!
~William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
