A re-post in thanks to a friend.
Oh G_d, it is soul-rending to speak about stuff like this. i am the one who destroyed the comfort of others. Yet G_d comforted me, the brethren comforted me, and even those i hurt comforted me. It does not make any sense…
Because it has been given to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven,… For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance;
~ From Matthew 13
Oh beloved, it is ever a fear in my flesh, that you would know who i was, and walk away. Aaargh. What a blasted mess… Onward.
This writer once lived a life that tore holes in more precious lives and relationships than even he knows. He has left gaping wounds in people. His life and lifestyle both impeded and crushed the comfort of those whose comfort he was supposed to be supporting.
The memories threaten my clarity. And the accuser of the brethren takes every possible opportunity to remind me that i am naught but one who lied, used, lazed, judged, and lusted his way into a crisis that hurt others, almost cost him his life, and surely cost him everything else.
And then, Jesus reminds us of His comfort. He reminds us that, in His eyes, we are simply accepted, loved and enjoyed by Him. He does this through the presence of His Spirit in our lives.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
~ Ephesians 1:3-10
He Himself comforts us. And then He uses others He Loves, to love us – through them.
It was after a church service.
She is a friend i have known as long as i have known my former wife. She is a true believer, beautiful, smart, musical, funny, noble and true. She actually played the piano in our wedding over two decades ago. But, more than being a friend to me, she is a friend to the bride of my youth. They are close, and have shared (and continue to share) life with each other at many levels.
It would have only made sense for this sister to keep her distance from me when i arrived back on the scene here in my old hometown. There was no need to put her into some uncomfortable position. She was still in contact with my ex-wife.
But upon seeing me after the service, this lady simply bounded over and greeted me with a holy hug and more so the kind of eye contact that communicates deep truth. The truth being shared was clear: Praise G_d! You are ok. It is good to see you.
i stepped back a little and started to stumble over some words about how stupid i felt and how i just was so nervous… and… And she just smiled and loved me like the brother in Christ that i was. Just like that. It was like i was standing there with poo on my face, and this bright spirit reached across with the softest, cleanest warm cloth and gently wiped it off my face like it was the most joyful thing she could do in that moment. It was an absolutely senseless act of comfort. And one that this writer will not ever forget.
It only get’s better.
This woman’s husband, showed nothing less than the same kind of grace. It was just so, well, GRACIOUS. In our first conversation on the phone after G_d healed me, i poured out my story for a minute or two. Oh, how i cringed on the inside as i simply let the shame pour out into this man’s ears. i just wanted to get it over with, and let this friend go… But his answer was just so crazy that it had to be real. His answer brought healing to parts of me that i did not even know still hurt. He said something very much like: “Oh friend, it is just so good to have you back. Welcome in from the storm.”
Senseless.
Oh, that we all would ever be such senseless fools, and pour out this kind of gracious comfort on those around us that need it!
When life caves in, you do not need reasons – you need comfort. You do not need some answers – you need someone. And Jesus does not come to us with an explanation – He comes to us with His presence.
~Bob Benson
