Love never fails.
~G_d
~G_d
Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.
~Corazon Aquino
~Corazon Aquino
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together inperfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
~ Colossians 3:12-15
~ Colossians 3:12-15
Certain moments in our lives act as platforms upon which almost all future growth depends. Surely, we have this happen repeatedly in our existence. We are conceived, born, we learn to walk and speak and play.
Then we find Him. This is the big one of course… He takes all of who we are, and crushes it. Actually kills it, and makes it totally new. Somehow, He brings us out of our old selves alive. Delicious. Epic. It seems that things couldn’t get any better! But somehow they do. Oh, sometimes things get much harder. But, in Him, every day has the potential to be the very best day of our lives. His mercies are new every day. The loving-kindness He pours out on us, take the nothing we are further on and upward in our walk home towards Him.
One of these moments has pretty much changed the color in the sky of my world to a way more beautiful shade of blue. It was a moment birthed out of gargantuan relational pain. My life and actions had caused the death of my marriage. The life-dominating sins of addiction brought 20-plus years of marriage to an ignoble end. The noble woman with whom i had shared life and a bed – in listening to the Holy Spirit – pushed me out of both, so that i might get better or die and enter into the final mercy available to such pitiful fools as i.
In a story that can be attributed only to the great Grace of a gracious G_d, i found a place that helped me learn that i had one choice: Absolute surrender to G_d, or death. Not a death because G_d was mad at me for not surrendering. But a death that would come as a result of refusing the mercy and grace He was so yearning to pour out on me. For me to get better, i needed to do anything He wished me to do.
Thankfully, His grace enabled me to make the right choice. And, through a wonderful period of weeks and months, G_d has restored me to a right relationship with Himself. He has poured out tremendous blessing and peace. So much so, that the only time i really have any anxiety is when i start to take my life back into my own hands, and try to bring myself my own comfort.
Anyway, the other moment…
About a year ago, i received a letter from the noble woman who was no longer my wife. And in that letter she vented some of the frustration she had with me. Surely, this woman had every right to vent. No question. However, in the venting, this wonderful lady said something that i thought was unfair.
Everything in me wanted to write back a “gentle” reply, correcting the “unfairness” of one of her statements. It was a very immature reaction, but one that i was dressing up in my own mind as reasonable and caring and blah-blah-blah….
Then John A. walked into the room and changed my life.
He asked me what was up. i explained. He listened. (Good model, this ask a question and listen to the answer thing.)
And here is what John A. said: “Here is what you are going to do. You are going to take that letter and put it in the fireplace. Then you are going to write a nice short and kind note back to this lady. You are going to tell her that you received her letter. You are going to thank her for it. And you are going to bless her and wish her a Merry Christmas.”
But! i sputtered… It’s not fair what she said… i didn’t do some of what she said… i just want us to understand each other clearly… blah blah blah…
And John A. said again: “Here is what you are going to do. You are going to take that letter and put it in the fireplace. Then you are going to write a nice short and kind note back to this lady. You are going to tell her that you received her letter. You are going to thank her for it. And you are going to bless her and wish her a Merry Christmas.”
But! blah blah blah….
And John A. said AGAIN: “Here is what you are going to do. You are going to take that letter and put it in the fireplace. Then you are going to write a nice short and kind note back to this lady. You are going to tell her that you received her letter. You are going to thank her for it. And you are going to bless her and wish her a Merry Christmas.”
And then John A. added something: “And if this woman ever asks you for anything, ever again, your answer is going to be, ‘As you wish.’ And you are going to smile, and do whatever she asks.”
but…
And John A. said, “As you wish… For the rest of your life. And you are going to mean it.”
but what if she?…
And John A. said, “That’s none of your business. Not ever.”
So, i did what John A. said to do.
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
~ Proverbs 15:1
A couple weeks later, this beautiful sister in Christ sent a nice little note back for Christmas. It was a note communicating friendship and Christmas greetings and cheer. Imagine that…
i still have no clue where this woman’s heart is in regards to anything about me. i might never know in this life. It is none of my business.
i only have one job in this space. One answer to give, both to my L_RD and the noble woman a thousand miles away.
As you wish… For the rest of my life.
What a moment. One of the best.
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
~Washington Irving (1783-1859)
