To those of the Jewish tradition, I attempt to refer to our LORD with respect…
A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.
OK. So here goes…. Hang in there with me, I know I am way out on a limb here reader! I just believe the branch is sound and well able to bear our weight.
Actually… Before We Begin: WHAT I MEAN BY “G_D”… Going forward, when I refer to G_d in this letter, I am reverently speaking of the Maker of the Universe, the G_d of the Bible (Deuteronomy 6:4: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is One!); the One who revealed Himself historically and literally to Moses at the burning bush as I AM (In the Hebrew: היה ) His name is (again, I say it most respectfully): the LORD (יהוה ) or transliterated YHWH, The existing One. Don’t worry… I’m not trying to go all theological or rabbinical on you all!!!! I just want to be clear that the G_d of whom I speak is not just a god as I understand him, but rather the G_d who has revealed Himself in all of Scripture. Further, the Bible says that Jesus Christ is G_d (John 1, 2 Peter 1, Hebrews 5 and much more).
My Own Personal Testimony: TRANSFORMATION… Most of you have not seen my prior updates over the past few months, so you may be jolted by the strong statements that follow. Regardless, let me state something clearly. I fumbled through my spiritual walk for 36 years before I came to this place (a place of victory in Jesus Christ) and I have no idea why it took so long for me to find the freedom I’ve been looking for. But thank G_d! I have finally found it. And one thing I am committed to is being straightforward about what G_d is doing in my life. It is great to be sober…. But….
Most important for me, is the transformation that has occurred in my life and heart. 215 days ago I was laying in an intensive care unit, receiving a major transfusion to replace the blood lost to an ulcer I had drunk myself into. I was an addict, anxious, emotionally flat, frightened, alone and hopeless. I had nothing left but a pulse… Well maybe one more thing (thank G_d!). I had a pent up desire to have my life work. I just didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, I found that the key was so very simple: I needed to go ahead and let the old man die. Then – and only then – could Jesus begin to live His life through me the way He has intended since the beginning of time.
I look back and see I really was a sincere believer in Christ – that I have honestly trusted Him for my salvation. However, I now realize that something was lacking: And here it is… I used to think and even teach that we should take a blank piece of paper (figuratively) – sign the bottom and give it to G_d to fill in the blanks for our lives. Not a bad idea, but that concept missed some vital points. By using this model, I still was implying control of my own life; i.e., I chose the medium for His direction (the paper), further I even limited the amount of space for Him to use (the boundaries of the sheet of paper), and then worst of all, I signed the bottom as if I was the one who could authorize the G_d of the universe to do His will.
So, what has happened has been life-shattering, but not complicated. On 7 November 2010, I came to the end of myself, and I realized that I had a choice to make. I could either turn my life completely over to the care of Jesus and abandon any efforts to hold on to anything, OR I could hold on to the “old man” and simply fall – broken and defeated – in my life dominating-sins. Thankfully, G_d gave me the grace to choose complete surrender. G_d has taken that resolution, and run with it in ways that I never imagined! Who I now am in Christ is amazing. There has been no turning back.
Reader, it all finally makes sense. It is just all, completely, totally about the person of Jesus Christ (Colossians 1:17-22). Not just G_d “as I understand Him.” (I will talk about why it has to be Jesus in other installments). As we dwell in the light of His presence (2 Corinthians 4:5-8), as we exchange our old life for His life – who we are in Christ is exceedingly strong and victorious. I caught some glimpses of this over the years, but I missed only yielding absolutely to Him and consenting to His presence in my life. While it is rarely an emotional thing, there are moments of being wholly overwhelmed by Him. These moments are further than breathtaking, and beyond comprehension (Psalm 16:11). In Him, and from Him there is perfect love that casts out fear (1 John 4:16-19). In this space, words like comfort, contentment, recovery, sobriety, happiness, freedom, etc. indeed fall short of what He can do in our lives.
Life… Actually, the old me no longer lives…………….. I don’t even ask you to believe me, because that dead man neither requires (nor deserves) digging up, attention, analysis, validation, recognition, sustenance, encouragement, financing, or friends. But the life I now live in the Spirit by faith (Galatians 2:20) is how I am walking in His victory and freedom. In Him I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). In Him, I am now empowered to fully love Him – and honestly love other people. Time will tell, but in Him, the cycle of defeat is over. He is the freer of captives and I am now simply a humble recipient of His Great Love and Grace, walking in Him. He is all I want and more than I will ever need.
If I could have asked for anything else, I would have asked amiss. I am living in His presence. It is so quiet and peaceful; so very, very real, restful, joyful and complete. There is no fear, no pain, no regret, no doubt, and no want. And as G_d never changes, I am learning that this never has to end. It took 36 years, and it is so good to be home. I only wish I were a poet. I simply cannot find the words…
He has freed me from my life-dominating sins and addictions. As I submitted to His will for my life, and began to resist evil – it has fled (James 4:6-8). No temptation has come that God doesn’t already know about. He always provides a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:12-14). Obviously, I am light-years from perfect, and screw things up often. But, as I am surrendering my will to His, my actual basic desires are changing. I simply want to do good, and am naturally shunning those things that are evil. Thank G_d for this. How freeing!
Christ’s work and His Word are all the evidence I need, but it is encouraging to see spiritual, relational, emotional/intellectual, psychological, and physical changes happening. It’s also curious to even be experiencing little practical changes in my life. At first, I thought that perhaps I was just experiencing some sort of ‘group mindset’ or ‘mountaintop event.’ However, I’m now five months into the “end of this journey” and only gaining traction and momentum.
Things are basically 180 degrees different than the rest of my life before: What follows IS NOT a self-congratulatory list. It is just an inventory of the amazing things G_d is doing in my life (all glory to Him!). You can laugh at what follows (i do sometimes!), but I’m telling you… G_d is doing something in the life of the guy once known as Scotty Morrison.
Ø Spiritually
o News flash – I love G_d! Nowhere near perfectly, but I love Him all the same.
o I hunger for G_d and His Word (Psalm 42:1).
o My normal responses are tending towards love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22 – FYI, it’s really nice that I actually want to be these things).
Ø Relationally. From peace and fellowship with Him flow simple, yet profound changes in the very way that I interact with day-to-day life.
o I am living in the ‘now.’ My tumultuous past and challenging future still absolutely exist! But (and this is a really BIG BUT), being ‘now’ with Christ makes all of what was and what will be seem crazy small in the viewfinder (Romans 8, especially verse 18). Each issue will be handled when ‘now’ gets there.
o I’m finding that I am more connected with people and situations, but less concerned about how they affect me (Philippians 2:1-5) – it is all about Christ in me (the hope of glory; Colossians 1:26-28) living in me and through me to properly love and live among the world.
o I rejoice in and thrive upon fellowship but no longer need people to meet my needs.
o I am able to keep short accounts when I am wrong – and quickly move towards confession and making amends.
o Trials, angst, financial issues, housing problems, employment opportunities and relational crises simply do not concern me.
- while it seems like a paradox, I am beginning to handle these same problems more effectively than ever in the past. Matthew 16:25
- I am beginning to make things right with the people I have wronged.
Ø Emotionally/Intellectually
o I am simply at peace, and life is FUN.
o My mind is very often quiet and cleanly flows with thoughts of Him.
o I laugh heartily and often.
o Tears of joy and love reside just at the corners of my eyes, and spill out freely.
o I am acutely aware of others; have natural empathy for their desires and needs.
o My comprehension has multiplied and accelerated. I am:
- reading up to 150 pages a day (could only read a page or two before),
- writing regularly.
- brain ‘clutter’ is rare.
Ø Psychologically
o My mind is clear. Thoughts form simply and process clearly.
o The anxiety and depression that plagued me for decades simply does not exist.
o My old horrible fear of eternity holds no power in this new place.
o I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2). Christ has done this.
Ø Physically, I am almost new again (Psalm 103:3).
o I take no prescription medication (I was on a list of psychotropic and anxiolitic meds for depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety).
o My back pain is gone,
o the migraines are gone,
o My voice has actually changed.
- It is quieter, calmer, but brighter.
- People often ask me to repeat myself, because my voice just does not project the way it used to.
o I sleep well, but:
- I go approx. 18 hours a day, every day, and very rarely have fatigue.
- my naps are rarely more than 30 minutes a few times a week.
o my skin – hair – fingernails – eyes – and even teeth have a new luster.
- Someone walked up to me a couple months ago and said I literally looked 20 years younger than when I arrived at the Colony of Mercy on 25 October (FYI, I prayed that G_d would show on my face, what He is doing on the inside. G_d is good).
o I’m exercising over an hour per day without effort – just doing it.
o Even when tired or sick, I have heretofore unknown strength (Isaiah 40:31).
o In Him, I just go.
o I have been getting up at 3:40 am for prayer. No big deal. But get this – you may know me well enough – I am often waking up without an alarm… AND am able to jump out of bed to get to prayer. I can’t explain this, I used to go to bed at 4:00 am and get up at noon (if then)!
o Another, I’ve started flossing my teeth! I hardly ever did that before. Silly, but it is just happening naturally.
o And most curious: I’ve actually kept two ballpoint pens all the way from when I opened them, to when it they ran out of ink – and am working on the third. The point here is that my mind is just tracking even the little stuff without major effort (2 Timothy 1:7).
o Additionally, I am actually developing some spiritual discipline. Again, these are not the causes of my transformation – God is – they are just outflows of the change that God is accomplishing.
- doing devotions 3-5 times a day (2 Timothy 2:15,16)
- praying almost constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17,18)
- recently finished a 40-day fast (Matthew 4:1-4, 17:18-21).
So, there it is reader. I am just gob-smacked at what G_d has done in my life. I believe there is more to come, AND that this transformation is normal and available to all who desire it. Is there a chance that you might want to let Jesus do the same in your life? C.S. Lewis talked about the toughest choice being not between good and evil, but between good and optimal. So much of your life is probably good already! What if you could go from good to optimal? What if you could go from nominally happy, joyous and free in this world to overwhelmingly blessed, exceedingly joyful, and absolutely free forever?!?! What if being alive is more than you could ever have imagined it to be… Please consider the foregoing. Study. Search. If we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him (Deuteronomy 4:29). I’ll leave it simply with this: John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
Campus Crusade for Christ has a wonderful outline of how to start your relationship with Jesus Christ. Check it out by clicking here.
They also have a booklet called: “Have You Made The Wonderful Of The Spirit-Filled Life?” for those who already are Christians, but want to begin living a life that is really great!
